In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

A(n)nals of Online Dating

Anyone who has internet-dated knows the kinds of… characters… that you can come across. But the below message which was sent to a friend of mine may take the cake for Best (worst) Online Dating Message Ever:

hey,
I saw your profile ..and um…well, i thought i’ll write.
From your profile it seems like like making friends….anyhow, if you
are not keen on being friends…stop reading here and delete this
message! however, if you are keen on making friends, can you tell me
about yourself?? like…..

what is your greatest quality or trait?

If money wasnt an issue and you could visit any place , where would it
be and why?

which animal do you most relate to?

If you could acquire a certain skill without the risk of failure or
without putting any effort, what skilll would you acquire and why?

what movie or book do you like most?

whats your greatest passion in life?

ok..last question…..kinda weird, but what do you think of your
nose??!!………………….. lol…its good..i like it..seems to
give you a personality! anyhow…..

laters

YIKES. I think they call that “negging.”

Any other online dating horror stories in the house?

Food for a dollar

A fascinating look in the New York Times at what $1 buys you. It’s helpful context for people who argue that The Obesity Epidemic wouldn’t be such a big deal, and Americans wouldn’t be in such poor health, if we just at more fruits and vegetables. Fresh fruits and vegetables — and especially specialty organic products — cost money. And if you only have $1 to spend — or only a few dollars to spend — you aren’t going to put it toward buying 10 organic blueberries, or one organic grapefruit.

SPARK Girl Guest Post: Cameron Diggs on Human Trafficking

This is a guest post by Cameron Diggs. Cameron Diggs is currently a senior at Elisabeth Irwin High School. She has been working for the past year on various projects involving women’s rights, demanding attention to crises that affect women worldwide and advocating for a change in the way the media portrays women and girls.

Whenever we hear the words “human trafficking,” certain images come to mind. Young girls in third-world countries; women being taken from their homes in foreign towns and robbed of their identities; perhaps even cruel, insensitive men raping children and selling them for sex in places that we’ve heard of but have never been to. All of these visions make up the harsh reality of this vicious crime, but what many do not realize is that human trafficking isn’t restricted to places outside of our borders; it isn’t a crime that only affects the impoverished and naïve. Human trafficking is a world-wide issue that has been getting increasingly worse, from the small villages of Punjab, India through the busy streets of Beijing, China and even right here in the United States.

Trafficking has been rampaging through societies around the world for thousands of years but the crime rate for this injustice has been steadily growing throughout the past few decades. Today, the offenders of this horrendous felony disguise themselves as modeling agents, bartenders, owners of massage parlors, or other people in managerial positions who are looking to hire. Once they’ve found their victims, girls ranging in ages 14-22, the traffickers trap and confine these girls into cramped rooms or closed spaces, forcing them to participate in sexual activities with up to 15 men per day and subjecting them to constant physical and emotional abuse.

In response to this repulsive crime, the mock-interview style advocacy video in which I created, entitled “Number One,” explores the horrors of human trafficking and promotes awareness among young women, urging them to recognize the threat that this criminality poses to our society. It is my goal to make, not only girls, but all members of our communities aware of this issue (and realize how close to home it occurs) in order for them to protect themselves from these attacks and reach out to defend others as well – with awareness of this danger comes knowledge, with knowledge comes inspiration, and inspiration makes way for action and change.

It’s crucial for members of our communities to realize that no one looks like a trafficker and that you don’t have to be naïve to fall into a trafficker’s grasp. Human trafficking is a devious crime that hundreds fall victim to every month. In the next year, human trafficking will become the number one crime worldwide. It’s time for all of us to raise awareness, and become more aware ourselves, about the atrocities of this sex trade: we must stop trafficking in its tracks and promote a safer future for girls and women worldwide.

My video is here:

Transcript below the fold.

This post is part of the SPARK blog tour.

SPARK stands for Sexualization Protest: Action, Resistance, Knowledge. SPARK is both a Summit and a Movement designed to push back against the increasingly sexualized images of girlhood in the media and create room for whole girls and healthy sexuality. SPARK will engage teen girls to be part of the solution rather than to protect them from the problem.

The SPARK Summit will launch a grassroots movement to support and stand with girls. Today, Friday, October 22nd at Hunter College in New York City, the Summit is a day to speak out, push back on the sexualization of girls, and have fun while igniting a movement for girls’ rights to healthy sexuality. The Summit will give girls between the ages of 14-22 the information and tools they need to become activists, organizers, researchers, policy influencers, and media makers.

The Summit is focused on working with girl leaders and activists to jump start an intergenerational movement. Attendees will be girls (ages 14-22) and those working closely with them. There’s also a virtual Summit so that girls and adults who can’t make it to New York City can participate!

Read More…Read More…

This photoshoot definitely makes the Grilled Cheesus cry.

Glee photo by Terry Richardson

So noted model-molester and general skeeze-ball Terry Richardson shot the cast of Glee for GQ. Or at least, the young white members of the cast who don’t play gay teens or teens with disabilities. That’s cool. Very edgy. Very cool.

Richardson, as usual, was highly original in his concept: Mostly-naked chicks. Or, more specifically, have all the men fully clothed, but make sure the girls are in their underwear (and when they aren’t in their underwear, make it clear that they aren’t wearing panties). And make sure everyone in the photos is nice and white and young and thin.

Now, look: I’m not outraged because there are OMGSexyLadies in a magazine (I’m not really outraged at all, actually). This is just some tiresome shit. These actresses are lovely and talented ladies, and if they want some sexy photos of themselves in magazines — photos which will hopefully also boost their ratings and get them new projects — more power to ’em. But there are other actors and actresses on that show, too, who are just as talented (in the case of Amber Riley, I would say significantly more talented), but because they don’t fit the Terry Richardson aesthetic (or the Hollywood aesthetic generally) they’re left out of these kinds of features. (They’re also left out of a lot of the show, and not as fully developed as characters, but that’s another post). Not that I think all would be well in the world if Amber Riley were also sucking on a lollipop on the pages of GQ; the point is that exposure, generally, is good for actors, but the exposure available for female actors skews towards the Sexy. And while there’s nothing wrong with the Sexy, it’s limiting — for the Sexy actresses themselves, who may have other talents (and whose Sexiness is not going to last forever), and for actresses who don’t fit the current model of Sexiness and are therefore ignored in the pages of magazines. Unless it’s a lady-magazine writing a feature about Loving Your Curves.

It’s also the concept behind the photo shoot that’s just exhausting. More thin white girls in underwear! Except we’re edgy, so let’s make it American Apparel underwear and throw in some high socks! And then let’s put a fully clothed dude in the scene with his hand on each girl’s ass, because that sends a clear visual message that (a) he’s powerful, and (b) that, dear GQ gentleman, could be you.

Oh Terry Richardson, you are such a groundbreaking new titty photographer artist. At least no one got a carnation stuck in their vagina this time (and yes, that link goes to a photo of exactly what it sounds like, which is definitely NSFW).

Marisol Valles García: Your Inspiration for Today

Violence and terror have been the norm in the towns near Juarez, Mexico for quite some time now. Public officials have been harassed, threatened, and killed, so people aren’t all too eager to step up to the plate.

Except Marisol Valles García.

She’s 20 years old, she’s a student, and she’s the new police chief in Guadalupe, (ETA) near the Texas border, the very same town where the former mayor was assassinated just this past summer.

Her attitude in taking this job is absolutely refreshing:

Afraid? Everyone is afraid and it’s very natural. What motivates me here is that the project [to make the community safer] is very good and can do a lot for my town.

The weapons we have are principles and values, which are the best weapons for prevention.

The job was pretty much a guarantee after nobody else applied. Here’s how she plans on getting things done:

My people are out there going door to door, looking for criminals, and (in homes) where there are none, trying to teach values to the families.

It’s going to be hard work, and I really hope she’ll stay safe. I don’t pray, but she’s definitely going to be in my thoughts.

New UNFPA Report Focussing on Gender-Based Violence in Areas Affected by Conflict

You can read the State of World Population 2010 report here, fresh off the presses.

From the United Nations Population Fund website:

Ten years ago, the United Nations Security Council passed a landmark resolution calling on governments to protect women from rape during war time and to tap the power of women to keep the peace and rebuild societies once the fighting has stopped.

Has the resolution made any difference in the struggle against gender-based violence? Are women in war-torn countries faring any better today than they were a decade ago? Do women finally have a place at the table in peace negotiations and in reconstruction?

The State of World Population 2010 will show what has been accomplished in places affected by ongoing conflicts or by military occupation. It will also show the special challenges of countries that have endured both political instability and natural disaster.

Here is a PDF of Resolution 1325.

I would encourage you to take a look at the report, which has a mix of personal stories and statistics and all sorts of things.

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Feministe Book Club: Freedom and Feminism

It seems like I can’t get on the subway without seeing someone lugging Freedom around. I finished it a couple of weeks ago, and found the gender dynamics of the book pretty interesting. Are there any other Feministe readers who would be interested in having a book-club-style chat about the novel? Or, if not about the whole novel, about this section, which was excerpted in the New Yorker (and which, readers should be warned, is about sexual assault)?

If there’s enough interest, I’ll set up a day and time.

Up Next: A Twilight Degree

I guess this answers the whole “Can feminists read/like Twilight?” question: California State University’s women’s studies program offered a course on Twilight this semester. From their special topics descriptions:

Topics in Women’s Studies: Twilight: The Text and the Fandom
Examines the Twilight saga and the resulting fandom. Explores Twlight in relation to the social and cultural construction of gender and gendered identities in contemporary U.S. culture. Using an intersectional lens emphasizing gender, race, class, sexuality, and belief, provides students with the conceptual and analytical foundations to think more deeply about popular culture and its impact. Covers vampire lore, the romantic core of the series, female characters and fans, the depiction of men and masculinity, religious contexts, race and white privilege, the franchising of Twilight, and various cultural contexts such as abstinence only education and the rise of internet fandoms.

I wonder how quickly this class filled up. Personally, the Women and Revolution in Cuba class seems more my speed. But these Twilight-themed courses are spreading like wildfire… I smell an interdisciplinary degree of some sort.

Single White Female Seeks Passive-Aggressive Misogynist

Sexist ad with a man blowing smoke in a woman's face

With any luck, I’ll find myself in a steady relationship any day now, and this ad won’t be necessary — but it’s sort of funny, so let’s at least post it for now, and perhaps permanently if it proves popular enough:

Who needs online dating services? Eschewing the needlessly complicated dating sites, which I’m told offer an array of dating-candidates who are not Jill — potentially causing men to become confused and end up with the wrong woman — Feministe offers the one dating option that can bring true happiness: Jill. But first, you must read the rules below.

Ten Rules for Dating Jill:

1. Dudes who think that all chicks are overly-emotional irrational basket-cases are hot.

Do you often find yourself saying, “Why are chicks so irrational?”

Do you ever end an argument by saying, “Are you on your period?”

Do other peoples’ tears make you angry because you are unable to feel a full range of human emotion?

Do you believe that men tend to be more logical, or perhaps “from Mars,” while women tend to be more emotional and therefore “from Venus”?

Do “logical arguments,” as you define them, tend to correspond exactly to your personal belief system?

Do you find that if someone is wrong about a particular issue, it is easiest to simply shut down conversation by accusing them of being irrational or emotional?

Do you become angry and resentful when someone opts out of conversation with you?

Do you voice your disgust towards fat women, and then get annoyed when your girlfriend goes on a diet?

Do you voice your disgust towards fat women, and then make fun of your girlfriend for wondering if you think she’s fat?

Do you also voice your disgust towards women with eating disorders, and become annoyed if your girlfriend won’t eat a burger on command, but become more annoyed if it looks like she’s getting fat?

Do you sometimes write passive-aggressive lists on the internet about everything you hate in women?

Do you often find yourself using phrases such as “Sane chicks are hot,” “Women who blow me off are the epitome of all evil,” or “Why don’t women like nice guys”?

Do you think that rigid consistency even in the face of changed circumstances or information is the only sign of true intelligence? Or that it’s acceptable to express anger toward people who point out that you, yourself, have often said one thing yet done another? Do you believe that it’s acceptable to express anger at others when they recoil in horror at the terrible words and actions you have consciously chosen?

Are you currently on, or have you ever gone on, a narcissistic rant about how women are terrible in all of the following ways, so will the one who is not terrible please for the love of God date you already? (Or have you been urged by a medical professional to avoid such rants in the future, as you are prone to going on them, sometimes on C-SPAN?)

Do you think “emotional self-discipline” is a good way to convince yourself that your feelings are the only valid ones, because you refuse to acknowledge that they are, in fact, feelings, and you instead shroud them in the veneer of logical desires?

Do you get shit-throwing angry when your date is five minutes late, or says “I’ll call you” and does not actually call you immediately, or otherwise behaves as normal people with flexible plans may behave?

Do you like to think of yourself as a “logical and rational thinker” who is more intelligent than most people you meet, and definitely more intelligent than overly-emotional broads?

Do you like to berate all of womankind on the internet?

Do you let off steam by picking fights with all of womankind on the internet, or posting long lists of negative attributes that you clearly associate mostly with women?

Do you claim to hate people who lie in order to avoid conflicts, but then badger women into agreeing with you or going along with your plans, only to get angry when it turns out they weren’t 100% into it in the first place?

Do you think that a given statement must be true if you can make what you believe to be logical arguments about the underlying issue? (For instance, that evolution must not exist because there are still monkeys walking around, or that unadulterated capitalism is the way to go because Communism failed).

Do you consider yourself a “nice guy” and find yourself wondering why chicks always date jerks?

If you answered “no” to any of these questions, you may be a decent human being and probably shouldn’t date me (I’m sure many of you would hasten to add “I wouldn’t dream of it!” and that’s good — you’re being wise, for once). This is not to say that you are a bad person — you may even be better than average in many ways, or at least better than the average man — but you are not the sort of condescending, narcissistic, lacking-all-self-awareness He-Man Woman-Hater with whom another condescending, narcissistic, lacking-all-self-awareness He-Man Self-Hater like myself ought to spend a lot of time.

If you answered “yes” to all these questions, there may be hope of us getting along and even building a romantic relationship. But read on and learn the other nine Rules for Dating Jill.

Read More…Read More…

Voting in a New Conversation

I recently wrote about my experiences of voting for the first time in a post called Performing my democratic duty…. In the comments, we got into an interesting discussion about how voting works under different systems. For example, I shared that in Australia we actually have compulsory voting, and we ended up having a chat about how that is enforced (there’s an electoral roll and you are fined if you don’t vote) and whether there’s an option to abstain (not a legal one, although many people mess up their ballot so that it isn’t counted).

That conversation about how voting works in different places is something I’d like to continue! Please share how it works where you are or where you’ve been. Is voting compulsory, is it tied to a particular election day, what happens if you can’t vote in person, how do you actually register your vote (electronically, for instance)? And how does this tie in with the government system where you are: do you have a governmental structure like that of the US, with Congress and the Senate, or something else? What determines who gets to be the national/provincial/state/etc leader or leaders? What else is interesting or different about the process?

I’m really looking forward to seeing what you come up with.