In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Month: June 2005

An Oddity

Ever since Johnny Depp first appeared to me in a dream (in which we hung out at his parents’ house, who were Mormon, and he was the oldest of ten brothers and sisters all of whom named Fawn, and I was kicked out for smoking in the basement), Mr. Depp has become a dreamland benefactor. He comes to me and offers all sorts of positive advice for whatever issue it is I am facing, as in the other night when he gave me advice on how to keep Brad Pitt from breaking up my relationship with Ryan.

No more late night chai.

Friday Random Ten (15) – The “Going to Graceland” Edition

This is getting posted mighty early as I will have no contact with a computer from tomorrow until Monday. Promise me not to overwhelm me with email, ‘kay?

FRTWill Winamp will be kinder this week than last week? Find out as we rate our Friday Random Ten with accompanying commentary.

If you don’t know what to do by now,
I revoke your FRT card.

1) Wilco – At Least That’s What You Said
Good song, nice and chill. 8/10

2) Arsonists – We Be About
Decent hip-hop. Nice beat with backing piano. 7/10

3) Ween – Spinal Meningitis
What a guitly pleasure. Chorus: “Smile on mighty Jesus / Spinal Meningitis got me down.” Indeed. 7/10

4) L7 – One More Thing
Mmm. I still love this band. Despite general agreement, I give this one a 8/10.

5) Dios Malos (formerly known as Dios) – Asshole
I don’t know how I feel about this song. The chorus says, “She’ll do anything to make you feel like an asshole.” I’ve known a few people like this, but if you’ve ever dated an arrogant band member, chances are Arrogant Band Member is the asshole. 5/10

6) Trans Am – Television Eyes
I’ve tried to like this group and this song, but I don’t. 4/10

7) Sufjan Stevens – Wolverine
Definitely not my favorite of his songs, but still deserves a healthy 7/10.

8) Lata Mangeshkar – Aa Aa Bhi Jaa
Another good song from a Bollywood movie, and nothing beats Ms. Lata’s voice. I still like the song from “Eternal Sunshine” better. 6/10

9) Pixies – This Monkey’s Gone To Heaven
Does it get better than this? And by “this” I mean, does rock music get better than the Pixies? Not really. 10/10

10) Public Enemy – 911 Is a Joke
Considering that this is an awesome song AND it came up in conversation last night after a long discussion over the legend of Stag O Lee (aka Stagger Lee) and the Godfather of Gangsta, Public Enemy totally deserves a 10/10.

11) Bruce Springsteen & Elvis Costello – London Calling (Grammy tribute to Joe Strummer)
Horrible recording, but I love hearing Costello sing the Clash. 8/10

12) Nirvana – Where Did You Sleep Last Night?
From their famous Unplugged album. I used to adore this song, but after listening to it in a constant revolving stream at the diner that shaped my angsty teenage years, I like to skip this one. 4/10

13) Blackalicious – Do This My Way
Love, love, love Blackalicious. This whole album is funky and soulful and perfect for a long drive out of town, which is partially why I always include it on car trips. 8/10

14) PJ Harvey – Working For The Man
I used to hate this song but I don’t hate it so much any more. It’s one of her slower songs on one of the middle albums. My nephew used to sing “Big fish little fish swimming in the water / come back here and give me my dollar,” not “daughter” as the last word in the chorus is supposed to be, so 7/10 for having a good memory attached to this particular Harvey album. “Dry” is still her best album though.

15) Peaches – Operate
Ooh! Strong finish! Winamp does love me! This is one of my favorite artists and songs that I discovered this year. If you like gender-subversive rock, electornic, and dance music with hip hop influences, buy the newest Peaches album. 9/10

Today’s total FRT/15 Coolness Quotient is a healthy 72%. Excellent.

Graceland, O Graceland, in all of your banal, tacky glory, here I come commas and all.

Posted in Uncategorized

Naming

Halley Suitt has a common story on Misbehaving about changing or keeping a former husband’s name after a divorce.

A male friend (who’s divorced) asked me what I thought about asking your ex to change her married name BACK to her maiden name.

I had no clue really, despite being divorced, since I never changed my name in the first place and never changed it back.

Behind his question is his desire that she change it — essentially release HIS name — and return to hers. She doesn’t want to.

I’d never thought of it from a man’s point of view, that he might want his ex to stop bearing his name. And that she would want to retain it.

If I had changed my name, I would want to go back to my original name … but it’s moot, as I can’t now and couldn’t then imagine changing my name anyway.

We all know names are important to us, judging from the last conversation we had on name changing and marriage, but what about names in the case of divorce?

In this setup, the former husband seems to think that his name is a sort of property right that his former wife should give back to him after the divorce, but as Liz Lawley says in the comments at Misbehaving, “If the woman he married changed her name when she married, it was her choice to do so, and it became a part of her identity when she did. The fact that she’s now divorced doesn’t nullify that act or that part of her life… I find myself wondering why he’s threatened by her retention of that name. What possible impact does it have on him what his ex-wife chooses to use as her name? Sounds like a control issue to me.”

It doesn’t necessarily have to be a control issue. I remember the nervous, nasty feeling I felt at the beginning of my breakup with E’s father when I received mail from Ethan’s schools and activities addressed to the W—- family. That was not and had never been my name and I didn’t want to be called such. It felt like an identity intrusion, even an affront, and I think if this guy has good intentions this is probably what he is feeling as well, that somehow her use of “his” name intrudes on his new single Self.

What he doesn’t understand by his statement is that the name she chose for marriage is now hers as well, and might do her professional favor to keep it among other numerous factors. I’ll bet he didn’t have a problem with the initial change.

Slanguage

These are the last results I expected to get.

Your Slanguage Profile
Aussie Slang: 75%
British Slang: 50%
Victorian Slang: 50%
Canadian Slang: 25%
Prison Slang: 25%
Southern Slang: 25%
New England Slang: 0%

via Clancy

Love, CWA-style

Thanks to World o’ Crap for directing me to this poignant piece from Concerned Women for America. Here’s the premise: Janice is pissed because she realizes that she’s been mopping with a foam mop for 20 years when, really, she prefers a string mop. So she yells and screams in the kitchen about her deep desire for a string mop. And then…

I opened the door and there stood a delivery boy from the local florist –– holding a brand new string mop with a dozen beautiful red roses artistically arranged up and down the handle!

I stepped back, stunned! Then, I burst into laughter, reached for the bouquet and read the card.

A warm glow welled up inside of me. Gil, Sr. had not dismissed my “insight” as irrelevant after all!

How much did he understand?

The card in his handwriting stated simply, “I don’t care what mop you use, as long as it is our floor you’re mopping! Love, Gil.”

With tears streaming down my face, I saw clearly in that gesture Gil’s love and unconditional acceptance of me.

Aww… thanks, Gil! As WOC says, “Now wasn’t that nice? He lets her use any kind of mop she wants, as long as she mops their floor, instead of, say, letting it stay dirty until he takes his turn at it.”

Blaming “the culture”

What caused the rampant sexual abuse in the Catholic church? Why, academics, liberals, and “the culture,” of course! That’s according to Sen. Rick Santorum, at least.

It is startling that those in the media and academia appear most disturbed by this aberrant behavior, since they have zealously promoted moral relativism by sanctioning “private” moral matters such as alternative lifestyles. Priests, like all of us, are affected by culture. When the culture is sick, every element in it becomes infected. While it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm.

I love it when those good ole “personal responsibility” conservatives blame “the culture” (read: liberals, feminists, gays, “the media,” and, apparently, people who read books) for the actions of individuals.