Marriage – Page 16

How much do I love Wanda Sykes?

A lot:

Olbermann on Prop. 8

He occassionally gets on my nerves, but when he’s good, he’s good:

Protest Prop. 8

Across the country on Nov. 15th. Find your protest location on that site.

And today at 6:30pm outside the New York Mormon Temple (125 Columbus Ave at 65th Street).

The Good, The Bad, and The Downright Ugly

The Good

President Obama. Of course.

The Democrats now have 56 seats in the Senate. Four seats are still undecided, according to CNN, but it looks like they’re all going to go Republican. Our best shot to pick up one last seat is Al Franken in Minnesota — who, with supposedly 100% of the vote counted, is less than 600 votes behind.

The Democrats now have 252 seats in the House, which is a 16 seat gain. Ten seats are still undecided.

Democrats have a majority in the NY State Senate for the first time since the New Deal. Wow. Do you mean that we might actually get some shit done?

Kay Hagan got Elizabeth Dole out of office. Gotta love that.

The South Dakota abortion ban, Measure 11, was decisively knocked down by a 10 point margin. A huge congrats to all of my friends at SD Healthy Families!

Amendment 48, the so-called Human Life Amendment, was shot down by remarkable margins, with 73% voting No.

It looks like California has shot down Prop 4, the anti-abortion parental notification initiative, with 95% of the vote in and 52% voting No.

Michigan has voted to allow stem-cell research and possession of medical marijuana.

Anti-immigrant initiative Measure 58 was shot down in Oregon.

Stand Up Against Prop 8

Thanks to my good friend Ali, it has come to my attention that Proposition 8, the anti-gay California ballot initiative which would overturn the recent ruling legalizing same-sex marriage in the state, has been gaining significant ground in the polls. According to an email sent out by Equality California, polls on October 7th showed that supporters of Prop 8 were up by five points — a huge reversal from the week before, where opponents of the initiative were up five points. The LA Times reports similar findings. This is frightening stuff.

The reversal has been largely attributed to new campaign ads put out by the Yes on 8 campaign, which are filled with blatant lies. The lies include assertions that if Prop 8 doesn’t pass, individuals could be sued for discrimination, that churches would lose their tax exempt status for refusing to marry same sex couples, and that children must be taught about the “correctness” of same-sex marriage in schools.

New ads are fighting back, but these things don’t pay for themselves. And guess what? More bad news: supporters of Prop 8 have raised significantly more money than opponents.

A few days ago, I wrote about the decision which legalized same-sex marriage in Connecticut, and being complacent and overly-confident like I think most of us have been, said “3 down, 47 to go.” Well unless action is taken, it might not be three for long.

Here’s what all of us can do:

1. Donate, donate, donate. I know it’s election season, and everyone is begging you for money. And there are a lot of worthy causes out there. But if you are able to give, this is probably the most important step that you can take to help the NO on Prop 8 campaign.

2. Spread the word. Write blog posts. Email friends and family. Urge others to donate, too.

3. Email Governor Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger has finally spoken out against Prop 8, but as a very high profile and influential politician, indeed one who is a Republican, he is in an excellent position to do more to actively campaign and dispel the myths that proponents of the initiative are spreading. Tell him so.

And if you’re in California:

4. Vote. And get your friends and family to vote, too.

5. Volunteer. Sign up today. Even if it’s only a couple hours of phone-banking, your effort can make a big difference. Even if you’re not in California, you can still click that link and get info on phone-banking from home! (Thanks Pizza Diavola!)

6. Get visible. Bumper stickers, signs, buttons, whatever — showing people in a visible way that there is strong opposition to Prop 8 has a bigger influence on public opinion than you may think.

7. Write a letter to the editor. NO on Prop 8 has the tools to help you write your letter today. Do it, and remember that even if yours doesn’t get published, the more that get written, the more that will show up in print.

Did I forget something? Let me know and I’ll add it to the post. Now get to work!

cross-posted at The Curvature

Connecticut Same-Sex Couples Have a Right to Marry

This just in: Connecticut’s Supreme Court overruled the state’s same-sex marriage ban.

Connecticut’s Supreme Court ruled Friday that same-sex couples have the right to marry, making that state the third behind Massachusetts and California to legalize such unions.

The divided court ruled 4-3 that gay and lesbian couples cannot be denied the freedom to marry under the state constitution, and Connecticut’s civil unions law does not provide those couples with the same rights as heterosexual couples.

“I can’t believe it. We’re thrilled, we’re absolutely overjoyed. We’re finally going to be able, after 33 years, to get married,” said Janet Peck of Colchester, who was a plaintiff with her partner, Carole Conklin.

Even better, because the ruling was based on the state’s constitution, it cannot be appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court. Further, Connecticut Governor Rell says that she disagrees with the ruling but will not fight it. So there you go: 3 down, 47 to go.

Congratulations to all of those CT couples that are about to tie the knot!

So it turns out that the gays are going to ruin your marriage after all.

Read it and weep, straights.

Teh Gays told you that marriage equality wouldn’t impact your marriage. They told you that they just wanted basic civil rights — petty stuff, like the right to be with their partner in the hospital, the right to health insurance, the right to adopt children, and the right to share in end-of-life and other medical decisions. They told you that your marriage wasn’t threatened, and that expanding such an important institution was a good thing.

Well, they lied.

Last month, Rachel Bird exchanged vows with Gideon Codding in a church wedding in front of family and friends. As far as Bird is concerned, she is a bride.

To the state of California, however, she is either “Party A” or “Party B.”

Those are the terms that have replaced “bride” and “groom” on the state’s new gender-neutral marriage licenses. And to Bird and Codding, that is unacceptable.

“We are traditionalists – we just want to be called bride and groom,” said Bird, 25, who works part time for her father’s church. “Those words have been used for generations and now they just changed them.”

In May, after the California State Supreme Court ruled same-sex marriage legal, the courts mandated state officials to provide gender-neutral licenses and other marriage forms. “Bride” and “groom” became “Party A” and “Party B.”

Bird and Codding have refused to complete the new forms, a stand that has already cost them. Because their marriage is not registered with the state, Bird cannot sign up for Codding’s medical benefits or legally take his name. They are now exploring their options, she said.

Bird’s father, Doug Bird, pastor of Roseville’s Abundant Life Fellowship, said he is urging couples not to sign the new marriage forms, and that he is getting some support from congregants and colleagues at local churches.

“I would encourage you to refuse to sign marriage licenses with ‘Party A’ and ‘Party B,’ ” he wrote in a letter that he sent to them. “If ever there was a time for the people of the United States to stand up and let their voices be heard – this is that time.”

It’s so true. And you know, this whole dating-in-New-York thing totally sucks. As a traditionalist, I would really prefer to go back to the time when my father found a proper suitor for me, and then basically sold me for a reasonable price. It’s tradition, and if it weren’t for bitches getting all uppity about their “rights,” it would have never changed. We’ve gone so far down the path to Hell that now the terms “bride” and “groom” — added into marital documents specifically so that we’d all know who called the shots and who controlled all the money and assets — are being replaced with gender-neutral terms. I thought the ladies demanding their own credit cards and checking accounts was bad enough; now with The Gays getting married, the whole system is fucked. After all, gender-neutral terms implies that a marriage is a partnership between two parties, and not a hierarchy. And that, my fine friends, is unacceptable.

If ever there was a time for the people of the United States to stand up and let their voices be heard – this is that time.

I think a lawyer from a far-right organization says it best:

“Those who support (same-sex marriage) say it has no impact on heterosexuals,” said Brad Dacus of the Pacific Justice Institute. “This debunks that argument.”

Indeed. Although really, the argument was debunked when the first straight person had to arrange two little plastic groom decorations atop a wedding cake. That’s some fucked up shit, y’all. And I for one am sick of these gays impacting my relationship and my livelihood. Hopefully the cake issue is next on the Pacific Justice Institute’s docket.

via Amanda.

Today We Mourn the Passing of Del Martin

This is some sad news.

Call me sappy (and putting aside my complicated feelings about marriage), but it makes me happy that she got to marry her long term partner before she passed.

Del Martin is best known for co-founding the Daughters of Bilitis, which was the first national lesbian organization in the United States, but was also involved in the National Organization for Women (where she helped combat homophobia within the organization), the Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club, and, later in her life, in Old Lesbians Organizing for Change.

She also co-authored several books, one of which, Lesbian/Woman, was read outloud to me by my best friend in her bedroom when I was 13 and was trying to figure out what being queer was all about.

According to a statement by Geoff Kors, executive director of Equality California, “gifts in lieu of flowers can be made to honor Del’s life and commitment and to defeat the California marriage ban through the National Center for Lesbian Rights NO on 8 committee at www.nclrights.org/NoOn8.”

Hair-pulling and braid-weaving

Ever since the minor kerfuffle over Titan Games’ Fat Princess, I’ve been wanting to write some more criticism of games, and not just because I love attracting defensive trolls who hallucinate de jure censorship and gamer-reviling boycotts whenever something problematic about a game comes up.

Fat Princess is basically a decent-sounding game concept that tragically hinges on one demeaning stereotype as a central metaphor. Only the concept for that game has been released to te public, so we weren’t able to talk much about the game itself. On the other hand, there are plenty of already-released games out there that deserve criticism too. And guess what? I don’t mean criticism as in bashing, I mean criticism as in “the kind of analysis and commentary that films, books, plays, and other media receive.” Games need criticism in order to evolve as a medium.

As a game designer, I love the rare moments when my games are picked apart at a level that transcends the usual “should I buy this” review revolving around fun, explosions, and how many hours of play the consumer gets. Unsurprisingly, I’m very keen on feminist perspectives on gaming as one lens of criticism and analysis. A lot of gamers looked at Valve’s amazing game Portal in this way, the standout being Joe McNeilly’s over-the-top psychoanalytic reading of the game, pushing the signifiers and comp-lit speak as far as he could.

With all that said, I present Braid, one of this year’s most hotly-anticipated and rave-reviewed games, but one that hasn’t received much attention outside of certain kinds of gamer circles. It’s a short but elegant game, a homage to and deconstruction of classic platform games like Super Mario Bros, and a moody meditation on time, memory, and relationships. Braid is a fascinating game for many reasons. Most of them are described in this preview, which I recommend reading if you want excuses to buy and play the game.

Seeing as this is a feminist blog, I’m going to talk about the game’s take on relationships. You see, in Braid you have to rescue the princess. Sound familiar?

Before we go any further, here is a warning. I am going to have to spoil the entire plot of this game, including the twist ending. If you have an Xbox 360, I recommend you download and play the game instead of reading any further. It’s definitely worth $15. If you like jumping on little round uglies, listening to vaguely Celtic music played backwards, and feeling like your perception of causality is being bent into pretzels, you’ll love Braid. In fact, if you hang out at a friend’s house who has an Xbox, I recommend you go over there before reading this. And if you really don’t like spoilers and own a Windows PC, you can even wait for the PC version to come out… probably in a few months. If you’re sure you won’t ever finish this game, or just don’t care that Jon Blow will weep salty tears and gnash his teeth in anger that I’m spoiling everything for you, read on.

John Edwards

It may be hip, detached and cynical, as befits the Third Wave, to deny that marital affairs are relevant in evaluating a politician.

But being burdened by none of those particular attributes, I disagree. I think there are some fine presidents who’ve had affairs. But I disagree it’s not a factor that should be considered, especially where accompanied by other factors.

Bill Clinton and JFK, two presidents rumored to have had large numbers of affairs in addition to those we know about, were consistent in their views of the privacy of human relationships. Edwards, on the other hand?