In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Caught in a bad romance

I wrote not too long ago in semi-defense of the Twilight books, mentioning that part of the backlash against them was rooted in sexism.

I hate that argument. I like dresses and makeup and boys, and I’m still a feminist. I maintain that I can also be a romantic (when I’m not being a cynic) and be a feminist, too. What’s wrong with a feminist enjoying a love story? Must the love story have a twist to it, be something like Jeannette Winterson’s Written On The Body? (And is there a more romantic book than that one? I think not.)

Caitlin Flanagan, our bête noire, wrote and Sady admirably refuted another boring us v. them drama about hookup culture vs. wanting boyfriends, as if it’s not possible to do both. Or to have your heart broken doing both.

But! Romance. And desire. It’s an obsession of mine, a subject of much of my feminist-blogging, female desire is. A few of us declared Female Desire Week on our blogs a couple of years ago, and explored all sorts of parts of it. I think it came out of the 98354674896th incarnation of The Blow Job Wars, in which certain self-declared “Radical” feminists informed some of us that we were insufficiently radical because we might still have sex with men.

Not gonna fight that battle here. No, really. Probably shouldn’t have brought it up.

ANYWAY.

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Muslim Women on Sex and the City 2

In light of yesterday’s discussion of SatC, I thought I’d direct your attention to Muslimah Media Watch’s discussion of the film.

If any non-Arab, non-Muslim readers are itching to say (or repeat), “Well, I don’t think it’s racist, and my opinion is valid, too, and also you’re just looking for stuff to complain about!” just please, please remember that these women may have a wee bit more expertise on the subject than you do. Do you enjoy it when a member of a privileged group lectures you on what is and isn’t offensive to your group? No, it’s frustrating and insulting! Stay civil, all.

Defending Sex and the City (sort of, not really).

I haven’t seen the latest Sex and the City movie, and I don’t plan to because I’m sure it will be terrible. It also sounds a little bit racist! And, like the rest of the franchise, shallow and kind of silly.

However, Choire makes some good points here:

It used to be that we loved rich people; then recently we came to find them distasteful, or at least wasteful. And now America burns with a weird, left- and right-wing resentment. It’s been a long time since our country has been angry enough to come close to redistributing the wealth.

It is true, in my experience, that a surprising number of rich people are actually fairly terrible (and spoiled and short-sighted and ugly on the inside). But the four rich women of Sex and the City are of a different ilk. They love clothing, each other, homosexuals, intercourse, and their feelings, in that order. Have we forgotten that these are fantastic qualities? Apparently so, because that is what is now being used to trash them.

Also:

Even more important, the movie provides a first-wave feminism flashback the likes of which we haven’t seen anywhere. Charlotte and Miranda, getting drunk, and telling the socially unutterable truth about how they sometimes hate their children? Hello, it’s a much-needed refresher course straight from 1971.

I asked Andy Cohen—Bravo executive/host and Friend of Sarah Jessica Parker, and defender of Sarah Jessica Parker—what he thinks about all the spite. “Given the amount of actually stupid/ridiculous movies that come out every year, I was amazed by the degree of vitriol leveled at a good one (of very few) that celebrates women,” he wrote to me through Facebook.

It is pretty amazing. But then, some topics—fashion and morals and rights and responsibilities and sex with strangers on the beach, that great American pastime—still make people pretty uncomfortable.

A lot of the criticism of Sex and the City is valid, but some of it — or at least the criticism that appears in mainstream media sources — is also mean-spirited and sexist. And a lot of it is silly — like the criticisms of the clothes. Of course the clothes are ridiculous and over the top. It’s Sex and the City! Remember the giant flower? And the tutu? I’ll admit that I enjoyed the show well enough, and I even think it was groundbreaking insofar as it featured women on TV talking about sex honestly, with female experiences centered. The characters also prioritized their female friendships and, while most of their conversations were about sex and men, they all had individual identities and perspectives. They were funny. They were raunchy. Sure, they were a little shallow with the adoration of clothes and shoes, but so am I, to a point. Was it a feminist TV show? No. Did it have its moments? Yes.

I’m not surprised to see the movie being raked across the coals, though. And I’m not exactly heartbroken over it. Sex and the City had its moment; it was groundbreaking ten years ago, when explicit sex talk from women didn’t have much of a place on television, and it was fun and indulgent in a thriving economy and in a culture that embraced excess. Those things have changed, though, and SATC has not changed with them.

Choire’s right that a lot of the vitriol targeted at SATC is sexist and ageist, and that the film is receiving disproportionate criticism in part because the story is centered around older women; in American culture, we like the women in our movies to be young and pretty, at least if they’re talking about having sex. Women with wrinkles and handbags full of condoms are just unseemly. The film also challenges our ideas about marriage and motherhood — and those challenges are rarely met with enthusiasm in a culture that lionizes both, without actually taking steps to support the individuals who make up (or wish to make up) those institutions. And while I’m also critical of the emphasis on consumption in the show and in the movies, SATC seems to draw disproportionate criticism for celebrating wealth and stuff. You don’t hear the James Bond or Oceans-whatever-number-we’re-on-now movies being taken to task because the lead characters are obsessed with money and toys.

But some of the better criticism centers on the fact that SATC is only concerned with the rights and experiences of a certain class of women. Muslim women? Oppressed, but, of course, silent. American women, by contrast, have everything going for them and are fully “free.” When Muslim women do take any sort of action, it centers around… shoes. And rescuing our heroines, of course. The movie is “good for women” insofar as it features some women, but that doesn’t stop it from being racist and sexist.

My Louboutins for a decent popular movie about lady-stuff.

Tuesday LOST Roundtable: The End

Major spoilers ahead.

Jack and Kate sitting on the ground, with Hurley sitting behind them, watching. Jack is bloody and is holding his side, Kate looks concerned.

This week on Lost, the episode we’ve all been waiting for. Jack is Jesus, Hugo’s the protector, reunions made us gush, and Vincent made us cry. Read our discussion below and let us know your own thoughts and theories in the comments.

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Thursday LOST Roundtable: What They Died For

Spoilers below the image!

LOST Screencap. Hurley, Jack, Kate, and Sawyer (from left to right) stand in the jungle at night. Hurley holds a torch, and all of the characters look intently to their left.

This week on LOST, a candidate is finally chosen, Smokey continues his murderous spree, and Sideways Desmond continues his creepy maneuvering. Share your thoughts on the episode and remaining predictions in the comments. But no spoilers for the finale!

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“Cougars” out, “Sugardaddies” in

Google has made the decision to block ads for “cougar” dating sites, which advertise the ability to set up older women with younger men. If Google were taking a stand against quasi-pedophiliac advertising (if that’s what the cougar ads even were), that would be fine. But they still allow ads for “sugardaddy” websites, which set up older men with “sugarbabies.” The problem seems to be with older women behaving in a “predatory” manner. It’s ok if older men want to exchange money and gifts for sex with younger women, but women wanting to have sex with younger men for the sake of mutual pleasure? Family-un-friendly!

In case you needed another reason to be disgusted by Woody Allen

Funny movies? Check. Creative and talented guy? Check. Shockingly abhorrent human being? Double triple check.

First there was the creepy marrying-his-stepdaughter thing. But that’s old news.

More recently, Allen gives us this New Yorker article, which I understand was supposed to be humor piece about Warren Beatty’s sexual prowess but which is actually a really sexist and creepy look into how Woody Allen thinks women view sex (for example, sex is “really good” when we are “ravaged,” wake up in a recovery room with a nurse giving us tea, and don’t remember anything). New Yorker, I love you. I read you every day on the subway. But I wanted to tear you up into a million little pieces when I read that piece.

And now Allen is (again!) standing up for Roman Polanksi, after another actress came forward and said Polanski raped her when she was a teenager. According to Allen, Polanski is “an artist and is a nice person” who “did something wrong and he paid for it.” Except (a) nice people don’t rape 14-year-old girls; (b) even if Polanksi is really really nice and saves kittens on the weekends, that isn’t a Get Away With Rape Free card; (c) neither is being an artist; I mean, John Wayne Gacy was a clown, so, great guy, they should definitely have let him go; and (d) Polanski actually has not paid for what he did wrong. Unless by “he paid for it” you mean “he won numerous awards, made hundreds of millions of dollars, had a long and successful career, but couldn’t enter the United States and for a few months was not allowed to leave his enormous Swiss chateau.” In that case, ok yeah, he paid for it. Can I be a criminal and face the same kind of punishment as Polanski, please?

And can people like Woody Allen please be socially marginalized, please?

Shame on you.

Gabe says so perfectly what I also think about tea partiers, after one of them — Caleb Howe, a right-wing writer regularly featured on sites like RedState.org — taunted Roger Ebert for having cancer:

But I will also say this: come on, tea party movement. I have worked really hard to remain open to the fact that we live in a big and complicated world where millions of people (billions of people?) have vastly different ideas about how things should work, and everyone is entitled to those opinions. And this particular outburst is easy to explain away as the disgusting work of one misguided man. Except that it isn’t. And it is pretty clear at this point that your loose-knit political organization is a bastion for actual hatred. Cool! Cool loose-knit political organization!

It’s one thing to be angry about HUMAN BEINGS HAVING ACCESS TO AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE. I can definitely understand why you would be so upset about that. BOOO! They should get sick and die by their own bootstraps, right? Besides, insurance companies are neat! And they need regular Americans like you and me to DEFEND THEM FROM THE MEAN GOVERNMENT. Definitely. You guys have got it so figured out it’s crazy. Just kidding! Looks like my communist doctor gave me a prescription for Sarcasm Pills. (To be taken with ugh.)

But this? And this? And this? And this? And this? Shame on you. Shame on you so much.


It’s also really, really worth reading this piece
by an Esquire writer who did a profile on Roger Ebert, and now responds to the hateful things that Caleb Howe has said about him. Ebert is a class act, and has been an amazing proponent of feminist thought and art. I like to think that there must be a special place in Hell for people like Caleb Howe.