In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

The Friendly Period

Sign me up [EXCLAMATION POINT].

In a study titled, “Gender and the Use of Exclamation Points in Computer Mediated Communication,” (for reals!) Carol Waseleski (EXCLAMATION POINT) deciphered that women use exclamation points 45% more often than men in e-communication. But it’s not because we’re more excited than men. Women use exclamation points online as indicators of a “friendly interaction.” We’ve been socialized to try to make people feel comfortable and to keep the peace. Hence sentences like, “Bill, I can’t wait to see the 4th quarter EMBO Report on the new 12-gauge ball bearings!”

She’s not excited to see that report. No one is excited to see that report. She’s letting Bill know that she’s not angry that it’s late yet. When she’s angry, she’ll use a period.

Absolute truth. We need a new punctuation mark — a friendly period — to indicate a friendly and nice conclusion to a sentence. Come on, punctuation people, do it [FRIENDLY PERIOD].

Summer, Sex and Spirits — and a free ticket!

Summer Sex and Spirits 2011 Flier

Monday July 25th is the 7th annual Summer, Sex & Spirits hosted by the PPNYC Activist Council in New York City. I will be there, and you should come too. There will be an open bar all night, music by New York nightlife legends Justine D and DJ Ayres, and burlesque performances by Calamity Chang, Darlinda Just Darlinda & Ginger Brown.

Tickets are $40 in advance and $50 at the door (or $75 for VIP tickets, which include a pre-party cocktail reception and a fabulous gift bag). All proceeds go to benefit PPNYC’s healthcare services, education programs, and legislative work.

But, because we love PPNYC and PPNYC loves Feministe, we are giving away a free ticket to the fundraiser — we gave one away last week, and now we’re giving away the second. The first person who emails feministe@gmail.com with the correct answer to the following question will get a free ticket to the event:

What organ is considered the male g-spot?

Email your answers NOW! And no googling, cheaters.

(And if you don’t win, you should come to the event anyway).
____________________________________________
Congrats to Thomas for knowing that the answer is “the prostate.”

Summer, Sex and Spirits

Summer Sex and Spirits 2011 Flier

Monday July 25th is the 7th annual Summer, Sex & Spirits hosted by the PPNYC Activist Council in New York City. I will be there, and you should come too. There will be an open bar all night, music by New York nightlife legends Justine D and DJ Ayres, and burlesque performances by Calamity Chang, Darlinda Just Darlinda & Ginger Brown.

Tickets are $40 in advance and $50 at the door (or $75 for VIP tickets, which include a pre-party cocktail reception and a fabulous gift bag). All proceeds go to benefit PPNYC’s healthcare services, education programs, and legislative work.

But, because we love PPNYC and PPNYC loves Feministe, we are giving away two free tickets to the fundraiser — one ticket RIGHT NOW, and one next week. The first person who emails feministe@gmail.com with the correct answer to the following question will get a free ticket to the event:

How many nerve endings does the clitoris have?

Email your answers NOW! And no googling, cheaters.

(And if you don’t win, you should come to the event anyway).
______________________________________
UPDATE: Congrats, Susan, on the winning number! We’ll have one more ticket-off on Monday, so check in then.

DTMFA.

I should really be an advice columnist for all those people who write letters being like, “My husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/friend/wife is really great and wonderful, and I love them so much, and everything in our relationship is completely perfect except they always tell me to go make them a sandwich bitch / stomp kittens to death for fun / have never tried to make me come / are completely repulsive / hide in porta-potties at yoga festivals but only sometimes.”

Dump him.

Dump her.

Throw that one out like yesterday’s trash.

Really, if you are writing these letters? Think about why in the world you would ever want to be with…

People who don’t brush their teeth or change their clothes for days on end and reside in a place that reeks of cat piss and where “there is a layer of dirt, hair and scum on practically every surface in the kitchen and bathroom.”

People who you are in a long-distance relationship with, but then ignore you when you come to visit them.

People who are condescending and mock you for your interests.

People who write to advice columnists whining about how their stay-at-home wives — who iron their shirts, make their lunch every day and care for the kids — sometimes leave shoes in the hallway.

People who snoop in your email and then use your sexual history against you.

Basically, if you are writing to an advice columnist and your letter starts off by swearing up and down that the person you’re complaining about is really nice and so great except they smell like a puppy mill and call you “cuntface” when they’re mad, just… stop. Stop stop stop stop stop.

Permanent Wave’s 4th SOUND WAVE: Benefit for SUPPORT NEW YORK

This Thursday is a great benefit for Support NY, an organization that provides support for sexual assault survivors. The details on Facebook:

MORENO and MATA are just two of the people who get away with rape every day in our country. we are furious with and disheartened by the omnipresence of rape and sexual assault in our culture and society and we will NOT shut up about it. come out and make some noise while benefiting SUPPORT NEW YORK, an organization dedicated to supporting victims when our justice system falls short.

Death by Audio
42 S. 2nd St. BROOKLYN
8PM
…all ages
$7

L to Bedford
-or-
JMZ to Marcy
-or-
G to Broadway

music!
::MINDTROLL – http://terribleinformation.org/MindTroll/
:::DELTA HOTEL – http://deltahotel.bandcamp.com/
::::CLINICAL TRIALS – http://www.clinicaltrialsmusic.com/
:::::CAVE CRICKET – http://www.vimeo.com/18861041

baked goods for sale! (write on the wall if you want to donate yours)

all proceeds from ticket sales benefit SUPPORT NEW YORK

“Support New York is a collective dedicated to healing the effects of sexual assault and abuse. Our aim is to meet the needs of the survivor, to hold accountable those who have perpetrated harm, and to maintain a larger dialogue within the community about consent, mutual aid, and our society’s narrow views of abuse.

We came together in order to create our own safe(r) space and provide support for people of all genders, races, ages and orientations, separate from the police and prison systems that perpetuate these abuses. We believe that experts are not always able to provide everything we need, and that all of us are capable of helping each other heal. This is an open call for anyone who needs support.”

www.supportny.org

Hope folks can make it!

Slutwalks and the Future of Feminism

Jessica Valenti has a great piece up at the Washington Post about sexual assault, feminism and how Slutwalks are doing their part to counter victim-blaming. But what Valenti finds most exciting about the Slutwalks — and what I do, too — isn’t the content as much as the grassroots activism and the offensive (as in playing offense) posturing:

Feminism is frequently on the defensive. When women’s activists fought the defunding of Planned Parenthood, for example, they didn’t rally around the idea that abortion is legal and should be funded. Instead, advocates assured the public that Planned Parenthood clinics provide breast exams and cancer screenings. Those are crucial services, of course, but the message was far from the “free abortion on demand” rallying cry of the abortion rights movement’s early days.

Established organizations have good reason to do their work in a way that’s palatable to the mainstream. They need support on Capitol Hill and funding from foundations and donors. But a muted message will only get us so far.

“We called ourselves something controversial,” Jarvis says. “Did we do it to get attention? Damn right we did!”

Unlike protests put on by mainstream national women’s organizations, which are carefully planned and fundraised for — even the signs are bulk-printed ahead of time — SlutWalks have cropped up organically, in city after city, fueled by the raw emotional and political energy of young women. And that’s the real reason SlutWalks have struck me as the future of feminism. Not because an entire generation of women will organize under the word “slut” or because these marches will completely eradicate the damaging tendency of law enforcement and the media to blame sexual assault victims (though I think they’ll certainly put a dent in it). But the success of SlutWalks does herald a new day in feminist organizing. One when women’s anger begins online but takes to the street, when a local step makes global waves and when one feminist action can spark debate, controversy and activism that will have lasting effects on the movement.

Jessica also recognizes that Slutwalks haven’t been universally embraced by feminists, and are far from perfect feminist activism. But the key, I think, is recognizing that there is no one perfect form of activism, and no one-size-fits-all feminism. Slutwalks ain’t your thing? That’s cool! Think there are problems with using the word “slut,” and that it alienates some women? Yes, that is worth addressing. But we can recognize the imperfections of Slutwalk as a movement while also recognizing that for a lot of women it’s incredibly powerful, and it is pretty cool that these walks have been springing up all over the country, organized locally by grassroots activists in their particular communities. There have been Slutwalks in more than 75 cities across North America and beyond, and there’s no organization or central group being the phenomenon. That is pretty awesome.

Check out the whole article. My favorite quote:

Emily May, the 30-year-old executive director of Hollaback, an organization that battles street harassment, plans to participate in SlutWalk in New York City in August. “Nonprofit mainstays like conferences, funding and strategic planning are essential to maintaining change — but they don’t ignite change,” she says. “It’s easy to forget that change starts with anger, and that history has always been made by badasses.”

“History has always been made by badasses.” I want that embroidered on a pillow.

Rude Awakenings: Stories of Political Origins tonight at Housing Works

Feministe pal The Rude Pundit has a new book out, and we’re celebrating him/it with a reading at Housing Works in New York City tonight. I’ll be reading a story about promise rings and Christian Horse Camp — you don’t want to miss it. The details:

What: Rude Awakenings: Political Origin Stories at Housing Works, featuring Lee Pappa, Rachel Sklar, David Rees, Sady Doyle, Jeff Kreisler and Jill Filipovic with a night of political origin stories.
When: Tuesday, May 31 · 7:00pm – 10:00pm
Where: Housing Works Bookstore Cafe, 126 Crosby Street, New York, NY 10012

Hope to see some of you there!

Protest Today, NYC, 5pm

An awesome collective of grassroots feminist activists have organized a protest today at 5pm. Come join us! If you aren’t able to be there, please sign the petition.

The details, from our press release:

Friday, May 27, 2011 (New York, NY) – Hundreds of New Yorkers will gather at 100 Centre Street, in front of the Manhattan Criminal Court building, to protest the acquittal of two cops who had been on trial for raping a woman.

The event is being organized by a loose collection of feminists, women’s groups, and sexual assault organizations, and has a Facebook event page here: http://on.fb.me/endrapeNYPD

WHAT: Protest against the acquittal of Officers Kenneth Moreno and Franklin Mata

WHERE: 100 Centre Street, in front of the Manhattan Criminal Court

New York, NY

WHEN: Friday, May 27, 5pm

WHY:

· We deserve to be safe. This verdict, and the way the NYPD acted, sends the message that we’re not. “Cuddling” while naked, getting into bed with a woman you are charged to help and putting a woman in a position where she was terrified is never ok. The officers have been fired, which is a good first step, but the NYPD needs to be more vigilant in training its officers and ensuring that there are consequences for breaking the law and violating basic ethical rules.

· No behavior is an invitation to rape. No woman should ever have to worry that having drinks with friends to celebrate a new job will result in a rape, sexual harassment, or assault. And no woman should have to worry that if this does happen, she will have no recourse. Sex with someone who is incapacitated is rape. A sex worker who is raped is raped, and deserves the same care and law enforcement efforts as people who are not sex workers. LGBT and gender-nonconforming people are often targeted for sexual assault and harassment, and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Men can be raped. Rape is rape; “sex with” is the wrong language to use when a perpetrator sexually assaults a passed-out victim. Consent to one form of sex is not consent to all forms of sex.

· This is happening to far too many of us. Every 2 minutes someone in the US is sexually assaulted. 15 out of 16 rapists will never see the inside of a jail cell.

· Police Officers are not above the law. The NYPD has a long history of abuses and violence, sexual and otherwise, especially against people of color and other traditionally disempowered groups. It is unacceptable that the government body charged with protecting us is not held accountable when they break the law.

OUR DEMANDS:

1. Police Commissioner Raymond W. Kelly must institute sustained and comprehensive trainings for every incoming class of officers on rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, and proper police conduct. A single training session, or a simplistic lecture not to rape, is NOT acceptable.

2. The NYPD must institute a zero-tolerance policy for sexual assault, sexual harassment and sexualized behavior while on the job. While this case illustrates an extreme example of police officers using their power to abuse women, too many of us have witnessed officers behaving in sexually inappropriate ways while on the job. There is no excuse for that behavior, and the police force must take it seriously. We want an easily-accessible reporting mechanism for sexual assault and harassment at the hands of police officers, and a demonstrated commitment to punishing officers who exploit their position to harass and assault the people they are supposed to protect.

3. The NYPD must be accountable to the New Yorkers they serve in a transparent process for implementing the above two demands. They must keep community leaders, local politicians and New York City residents informed about the initiatives they institute, and how they are working to make sure that an incident similar to the one involving former officers Mata and Moreno does not happen again.