In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Month: February 2013

Tip your servers

Laura Beck is right — if you’re budgeting to go out to eat, you need to include a tip in that. And you need to tip even if your waitress isn’t as pleasant as you’d like, and even if the service is imperfect. It is a gender issue, and servers (who are disproportionately female) need tips to make a living wage. I also suspect that female servers are more often on the receiving end of a bad tip for not adequately stroking a diner’s ego — not laughing enough at his jokes, not flirting back, not smiling. So tip! Yes, 20%, even if the service was mediocre.

Hope for Haiti

In 2010, a devastating earthquake hit Haiti, and people around the world mobilized to raise funds for recovery. Nearly three years later, much of Haiti is still in ruins. Part of the problem is that while there are many development groups on the ground, their works are disparate. Unemployment is high, and while there are enormous numbers of Haitians working to rebuild their communities, there isn’t a place for them to come together. JCI, an excellent community-based nonprofit, conducted a detailed needs assessment and is now working on building a community center in Haiti. The center will offer employment opportunities not just in its construction but in its ongoing mission to provide economic empowerment, child care and project development. It’s a great and important project. More details are below. And getting involved is simple. Sign up, shop online and make money for your giving fund.

Supporting Sex Workers’ Rights, Opposing the Buying of Sex

There are a few topics that still never fail to divide feminist activists, and sex work is one of them — which is why this post is so contentious right now. I love our regular guest bloggers Laurie and Debbie, and I posted that piece myself — but I don’t agree with all of it. I am an anti-sex-trafficking feminist. I think sex work is incredibly problematic. And I also support the rights of sex workers. I think you can do all those things at once.

The War on Sex Workers

Melissa Gira Grant has an excellent article in Reason this week, laying out exactly what’s wrong with the war on “sex trafficking,” which is conducted largely by women who identify as feminists, and how and why it is really a war on sex workers. The last paragraph of the article is especially powerful:

I have nearly 200 tiny babies in my uterus right now.

A warning to all uterus-havers who are on hormonal birth control: That uterus of yours is absolutely filled with tiny dead babies. Lots and lots of little babies. You’re basically a microbaby graveyard, says conservative radio host Kevin Swanson, a.k.a. That Snoring Guy In The Back Of Sophomore Biology Class, or alternately That Guy Not In Biology Class Because He Was Biblically Homeschooled and now promotes godly homeschooling and a Biblical worldview, and that’s just medical science.

Divorcing ourselves from traditional marriage

My latest column in the Guardian is about the latest move from a group of conservatives to call a truce on gay marriage and get back to blaming single moms and poor people for destroying marriage itself. They say that poor and middle-class people aren’t getting married, and that’s hurting them financially and socially, keeping them poor. I say that working-class and middle-class people are marrying less often precisely because of economic insecurity: Outdated views of men as breadwinners mean that men who aren’t making enough to support a family may be less enthusiastic about marriage; increases in gender equality mean that working women no longer need to get married for social status and may not want to take on a husband who doesn’t pull his own weight inside the home and out; and with divorce being financially ruinous for women in particular, it’s probably a good idea to avoid marriage if you aren’t reasonably sure you’re hitching yourself to a good horse. If conservatives actually care about the things they say are the purpose of marriage — a good environment for children, family stability, accumulation of personal wealth — then they should support policies that directly promote those things instead of claiming marriage is the one and only solution, because it’s clearly not. A taste:

Really good pieces about weddings and love

Not joking, the wedding section of the Times this week is actually good. This Modern Love, about love and marriage between two older folks, is about the sweetest thing you will read this month, and if you don’t cry by the end you have no soul. This marriage announcement contains the line, “The bride, 97, is keeping her name,” which is about the best thing I’ve ever read. And this look back at a 40-year marriage defined by a commitment to social justice and a son’s well-being is also just lovely. And yes I’m a cranky feminist who will probably never get married, but a good marriage story still gets me. Maybe I’ll finally consent to the betrothal thing when I’m 80.

Superbowl Open Thread

I only kinda halfway watched it because being out watching the Superbowl is a Thing You Must Do, but I did pay attention to the halftime show. Beyonce! Wow. Beyonce. You are a superstar for a reason and I love you and want to be you and I am so glad you never wear pants because there is absolutely no reason for you to ever wear pants. 2013 is really her year, huh? Inauguration and the Superbowl? Not bad. I did not watch the commercials, although I saw that Audi one this morning and I agree with Amanda that it is gross. No, kissing someone isn’t rape, but walking up to a virtual stranger and planting a kiss on her because she’s hot and you’re “brave” isn’t really treating her like a person who should have some say in who she wants to kiss. It’s treating her like she’s an accoutrement to your sweet life, like that car. But as Amanda points out, it is forever fascinating that there exist “gross dudes who will die on the hill of claiming that creeping on women and forcing yourself on them is a legitimate form of flirting.” What did you all think? About the game or the commercials or Queen B or the lights going out because Beyonce is just too bright or whatever?