Domestic Violence – Page 14

“There must be violence against women.”

Sometimes, words fail.

Thanks to Thomas for the link.

Help Pretty Bird Woman House buy a permanent shelter

Pretty Bird Woman House, a domestic violence shelter on the Standing Rock reservation in South Dakota, needs help purchasing a house it’s put a bid on so it can have a permanent (and secure) home:

Jackie Brown Otter created The Pretty Bird Woman House after the brutal rape and murder of her sister, whose Lakota name means Pretty Bird Woman.

PBWH provides emergency shelter, advocacy support, and educational programs for women on the Standing Rock reservation who have been victims of domestic violence or sexual assault. It opened on January 5, 2005.

Recently, the Pretty Bird Woman House was forced to move out of its original location after a number of break-ins through the exterior walls left it in such bad condition that the women could not safely remain there. The staff are now sending women to 2 other shelters off the reservation, which reduces their ability to serve Standing Rock’s women and strains the resources of the other shelters.

PBWH really needs a permanent house for the shelter. There
happens to be a house for sale near a police station. The purpose of this fund drive is to raise enough money to buy it or another suitable one in a safe location. Won’t you help?

You can give at the link above, you can sign up at igive and designate PBWH to receive a portion of your online purchases, or you can send checks directly to:

Pretty Bird Woman House
P.O. Box 596
McLaughlin, SD 57642

If you’ve got some money burning a hole in your pocket…

Consider donating some money to Pretty Bird Woman House

Jackie Brown Otter created The Pretty Bird Woman House after the brutal rape and murder of her sister, whose Lakota name means Pretty Bird Woman.

PBWH provides emergency shelter, advocacy support, and educational programs for women on the Standing Rock reservation who have been victims of domestic violence or sexual assault. It opened on January 5, 2005.

Recently, the Pretty Bird Woman House was forced to move out of its original location after a number of break-ins through the exterior walls left it in such bad condition that the women could not safely remain there. The staff are now sending women to 2 other shelters off the reservation, which reduces their ability to serve Standing Rock’s women and strains the resources of the other shelters.

PBWH really needs a permanent house for the shelter. There
happens to be a house for sale near a police station. The purpose of this fund drive is to raise enough money to buy it or another suitable one in a safe location. Won’t you help?

They’ve put a bid on the house, but need money for the deposit and for the security systems they need to help prevent the same thing happening again.

You can pay by credit card at the link above, or send a check to the following address:

Pretty Bird Woman House
P.O. Box 596
McLaughlin, SD 57642

H/T: Julia.

I’d like to introduce you to my Romantic Companion

The Winter/Holiday/Consumption Season is in full swing: ‘Tis the time to Partay. Whether you are going to the now-cliché, Clichéd and Tacky Christmas Sweater Party or the “We’re So Lefty But We Can Make Fun of Kwanzaa Anyways” Party, you’ll have to meet the “Significant Others” of your friends, family, and that co-worker whose name you can never remember. And, if your house-mates still haven’t let you get a dog, you might even have a Worse Half of your own in tow.

For somewhat obvious reasons, I find the whole “girlfriend”/”boyfriend” thing a little silly, but I also find the word “partner” annoying and confusing. When I’m introduced to someone’s “partner” I often don’t know if they mean “business partner” or “sexual partner”. I also find it a little sterile. I realize there are plenty of reasons to like the word “partner”– but I just can’t bring myself to say it. Its more a matter of taste than politics. I’ve consulted Thesaurus.com but my Confederate and I just can’t find a term we both agree on.

How do you introduce your Bedfellow? Other Sidekicks you’ve had? What was the best/funniest/most syllabic term for S.O. you’ve ever heard? If you wanted to make the worst impression possible, what term would you use?

16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence

Today kicks off the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence (h/t).

The days of action start with The International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women — which is today — and ends on December 10 with International Human Rights Day. I think that this is an absolutely amazing structure: beginning discussion relatively narrowly and then building up to a broader world view to remind people that gender issues are human rights issues.

This year’s theme is Demanding Implentation, Challenging Obstacles: End Violence Against Women, and you should read more about it.

I very strongly recommend that you check out Sokari at Black Looks for more information about the 16 Days and for information about the Carnival Against Gender Violence, for which submission are due December 6th. Personally, I can’t wait to see it.

If you happen to be in NYC, check out these events. For everyone, here is a great resource for suggested actions (pdf).

And as a blogger, I encourage all others to blog on the topic as much as possible for the next 16 days (and thereafter). Of course, blogging is neither the only nor most effective method of activism, but I also think that it plays an important role. If you read liberal blogs that don’t normally cover “gender issues,” strongly encourage them to participate (and demand answers if they won’t). If you run a non-feminist blog, or read other non-feminist blogs by writers that you know care about women, let them know and encourage them to blog about the issue, too. The issue of gender violence is an absolutely massive one, considering the many forms that violence can and does take and all of the intersections of race, sexual orientation, age, nationality, class, religion, location, etc. It has more dimensions than I imagine the combined efforts of every feminist blogger working diligently for the entire 16 days could fully cover. And that’s why it’s so important to say as much as we can. I will be covering the issue of gender violence as much as possible on my own blog for the 16 Days.

You can also download the 16 Days logo, which I encourage you to put in any posts that you write, in your sidebars, on your myspace page, etc. And don’t hesitate to create a “16 Days” tag so that your posts will be easier to find. Please, participate and let people know that you’re participating.

Forced Miscarriage = Murder?

I’ve been musing over this one for a little while and I’m eager to hear what you think. Recently, a Texas Court ruled that a fetus can be murdered, but not by abortion.

Texas laws allow the killing of a fetus to be prosecuted as murder, regardless of the stage of development, but the laws do not apply to abortions, the state’s highest criminal court has ruled.

The Court of Criminal Appeals announced the ruling Wednesday, rejecting an appeal by Terence Lawrence, who said his right to due process was violated when he was prosecuted for two murders in the killings of a woman and her 4- to 6-week-old fetus.

The court ruled unanimously that state laws declaring a fetus an individual with protections do not conflict with the United States Supreme Court’s ruling in Roe v. Wade that women have a constitutional right to abortion.

Now, I have made my feelings on sentences for the killing of fetuses very clear in the past. In this case, I’m very glad that the court ruled that violently causing the miscarriage of a pregnancy is different from abortion. It is different. But murder?

Help the Pretty Bird Woman House

The Pretty Bird Woman House on the Standing Rock Reservation in South Dakota provides emergency shelter, aid, counseling, and a variety of other services to women in need. Unfortunately, it’s in dire financial straits after a series of attacks. South Dakota has ongoing problems with sexual assault and abuse, with Amnesty International reporting that:

High levels of sexual violence on the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation take place in a context of high rates of poverty and crime… The unemployment rate on the Reservation is 71 per cent. Crime rates on the Reservation often exceed those of its surrounding areas. According to FBI figures, in 2005 South Dakota had the fourth highest rate of “forcible rapes” of women of any US state.

The Pretty Bird Woman House has made a huge difference in the lives of hundreds of women, despite being staffed by only three people. In less than a year, these three employees have:

* Served a total of 614 individuals with education and services.
* Answered 397 crisis calls
* Provided emergency shelter to 188 women and 132 children.
* Helped 23 women obtain restraining orders, 10 get divorces, and 16 get medical assistance
* Provided court advocacy support for 28 women, and
* Conducted community education programs for 360 women.

Chip in and help them out.

Thanks to Kristen for the link.

Not funny.

Does Walmart ever do anything that doesn’t totally suck? They’re selling this t-shirt in their stores, and some people don’t think it’s so cute.

For the past two years, this woman has been stalked until she feels like a prisoner in her own life. She has been spied upon, bullied and threatened with her life.

She has been in frequent communication with local authorities. Yet, because North Carolina has one of the most vague stalking laws in the nation (a bill is wending its way through the legislature to address that), her recourse has been limited.

So when she saw the T-shirts, clearly aimed for the teen-younger adult set, she didn’t see the humor.

“It’s reprehensible,” said the woman, whose story is well documented but who asked not to be identified for fear that her stalker might retaliate.

“People don’t realize how serious stalking is,” she said. “You constantly live in fear, look over your shoulder and suffer from psychological and physical symptoms due to the stress of the stalker.”

She wondered aloud: What’s next?

“Some say it’s rape, I call it hot sex”? Or: “Some call it domestic violence, I say I’m just teaching her a lesson”?

Of course, t-shirts like that do exist. They just aren’t being sold at one of the nation’s largest retailers.

Why Doesn’t She Leave?

That’s the question that’s (inevitably) being raised on this Pandagon thread, where Amanda posts a video of a woman being verbally and physically assaulted by her husband.

So why do women put up with this? Why don’t women leave? Are we stupid? Masochistic?

We’re rational. As the woman on the video says, physical abuse doesn’t start on the first date. It’s incorporated into a relationship after bonds are forged and hard-to-break ties are made. Look at this woman’s life: When he husband started beating her up, she lived with him in a small-ish town close to her family and they had three kids together.

Look at your own life: Could you pick up and disappear tomorrow? I certainly couldn’t.

Women who live in abusive households know that attempts to leave threaten their lives. Too often, women who try to leave abusive partners get killed. Their kids get injured or killed. The people or things they love (pets, etc) get injured or killed in retribution.

Beyond that, abusers often control the family’s finances — leaving isn’t free, and if you have little or no access to money, you have a problem. If you have kids, child custody laws kick in — you can’t just take the kids and run, you have to battle it out in court (which, if you hire a lawyer, also isn’t free). If you have a job, your employer may not want to put up with the routine absences that come with messy divorces and custody battles. Your employer may not want to put up with your partner calling and harassing them in an effort to find you. Your friends and family may not want to put up with that.

It is not an easy calculus.

I’m a young, single woman whose permanent residence is in New York. I have hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans. I go to school. Once I finish school, I’ll be working, and I’m expected to show up. I have to take the bar exam to practice in New York, and I’ll have to re-take it before I can practice anywhere else. I’ll have a solid $1,000 a month in loans to pay off once I graduate. My name is on a lease. I am close with my family. I am close with my friends. I have an apartment full of stuff.

I cannot disappear.

And if she weren’t a multimillionaire televangelist?

Black, female televangelist reports her husband for domestic violence:

Historically, the black church has been the rock of the black community, a place of refuge where important issues are addressed. But domestic violence has long been left off the agenda, ignored in a largely patriarchal system, even justified by scripture.

Atlanta-based televangelist Juanita Bynum — 1 of the country’s most popular female ministers, who has turned her national and international following into a multimillion dollar business — has gone public with allegations of domestic violence against her husband, minister Thomas W- Weeks the Third, who faces charges of aggravated assault and making terroristic threats.

I can’t speak for the role of the black church here in keeping stuff like this quiet, but it stands to reason that a minister might have some trouble speaking out against her minister-husband about violence in their relationship. And it’s not the first time I’ve heard of scripture being used to justify keeping the women in line in a religious family. But domestic violence is depressingly common, and black women have a higher rate of victimization than white women, though they report it more often:

According to the US Department of Justice’s Bureau of Justice Statistics, while the rates of nonfatal intimate partner violence decreased for black females between 1990 and 2003, the rate increased from 3.8 victimizations per one thousand persons age 12 or older in 2003 to 6.6 per 1,000 in 2004. Black females are victimized at a higher rate than white females, and black females report such incidents at a higher rate than white females — 68.4% compared to 53.5%.

Here’s a description of the incident which led to the arrest: