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Googlism on Yours Truly

Lauren

Almost good enough for National Poetry Month [slightly edited to further poetic form]:

Lauren is _____

lauren is 6 months old today
lauren is eating solid food on 06 16 2004

lauren is nailed to the cross
lauren is the shit
lauren is the new freddie; brown is the new black
lauren is wonderful and so is her webpage

lauren is taking her own pace about discussing her diabetes and pump with those who do not know her well
lauren is so cool
lauren is the center of attention on the couch
lauren is center of attention off of the couch
lauren is a better pitcher against adam than leora is

lauren is a 12 times australian national taekwondo champion and has competed internationally for over 7 years

lauren is an experienced escort who up to now has been working for a escort agency in the north east and now has decided the time is right

Apparently, Lauren is very busy.

lauren is absent
lauren is absent-minded
lauren is accused of teaching cannibalism to her american history class
lauren is great
lauren is hot
lauren is great and hot like an opera singer

lauren is a young girl that rejects the religion that her father has taught her
lauren is now training to compete in the 2004 athens paralympics
lauren is very reluctant
lauren is anal
lauren is a very solid athlete and a tremendous student
lauren is an elegant beauty
lauren is also a fashion model with a bright future ahead of her

lauren is a fairly attractive woman who adopts a businesslike expression and countenance while working
lauren is a respected doctor in psychology and teaches at a university
lauren is a member of nwa and ams and is preparing for her ams seal

lauren is a hot satin bikini
lauren is so cool
lauren is tiiiiiiiiired

lauren is not the delicate whispers of a mother chanting lullabies to her baby

lauren is a genius
lauren is available with free shipping

lauren is a lion no longer
lauren is a shmuck hey everybody
lauren is the biology department’s education coordinator and makes sure that the biology students are proceeding smoothly through the program

lauren is quoted as an expert on the above issues by a wide range of newspaper and magazine articles
lauren is a beautiful happy child
lauren is internationally known

lauren is great
lauren is currently safe in calf due back in early fall with an ultrasounded bull calf by ellbank airliner
lauren is by far the best thing thats happened to me since ive moved
lauren is a better pitcher against adam than leora is

lauren is coached by linda paterson and a member of north east fife baton twirlers
lauren is far from being a frail 74 year old
lauren is a terrific blend of beauty and function
lauren is currently working on at least three county court trials

lauren is a crisp blend of fresh citrus
lauren is the 25th young woman to hold this local title

lauren is _____

There is so much about me I didn’t know.

8 thoughts on Googlism on Yours Truly

  1. Ha! Oh, the internet….. are you really available with free shipping, or do I have to spend X amount of money first?

    I like the new design, by the way.

  3. “Sorry, Google doesn’t know enough about norbizness yet.” Thank the Lord for that, and while we’re at it, stay away from my bodily fluids, Google.

    And welcome to the Solid Food Club.

  4. The top o’ my list:
    ryan is saucy @ 330
    ryan is america’s premier career
    ryan is eighth signee for women’s basketball team
    ryan is getting a raise
    ryan is a republican
    ryan is annoying
    ryan is `second to none’
    ryan is here
    ryan is cool
    But I like these:ryan is a smart college guy who loves to work ryan is the hero ryan is the absolute greatest of all times ryan is the choice of 52 percent of the respondents in a poll of the 17th district congressional race? ryan is batman

  6. Well, Lauren, I can certainly say your Googlism comes up as much more positive (and a lot less pornographic) than does “Lenka.” 🙂

    I guess that’s what happens when one shares a forename with a number of East European adult performers…if only my parents knew back then.

  7. ha! what did folks do to waste time before the intarweb, i wonder?

    here’s some selected funnies:

    jam is the real thing
    jam is a real treasure
    jam is a better jam
    jam is an endlessly complex physical
    jam is black
    jam is too much for
    jam is an easy
    jam is a chance for people to have a good time being less than perfect
    jam is easier when jesus is your copilot
    jam is on the rag
    jam is usually a loose situation
    jam is enticement oooh ooh ooh jam jam is a torture ooh ooh ooh bummers and bitter passion and pain jam
    jam is a greek/lebanese cryptogramic analogy for jesus christ spelled back
    jam is not a dirty word
    jam is not
    jam is more than that
    jam is a fabulous problem
    jam is like love
    jam is for you

  8. You know, I’ve always believed that, if only Jesus were my copilot, jam would be soooooo much easier.

    🙂

    I love stuff like this. Thanks, Lauren. *Definitely* good enough for poetry month.

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