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Overheard at the SOTU

Jill

bush-cheney-pelosi.jpg

Roommate’s boyfriend: What do you think Nancy Pelosi and Dick Cheney talk about up there?
Jill: I think Nancy is probably like, “So, Dick, how are you?” and Dick probably responds with something along the lines of, “I like turtles,” except in his menacing voice. And then Nancy smiles really widely and nods and is like, “Uh-huh, that’s nice!”

I’m pretty sure it’s true. What do you think they talk about?

21 thoughts on Overheard at the SOTU

  2. “Dick, it’s not my fault, I’m capitulating as fast as I can, I just can’t keep up with this level of non-stop evil and incompetence.”

  4. I’m not sure what they’re talking about, but they both look like they’re thinking, “Dam, I could give this speech better than that incompetent.”

  5. Pelosi: (Rolls eyes) Dick, you do realize this is the SOTU, not a quail hunting preserve.

    Cheney: But…but…but supporting my Prez by clapping in applause is so passe.

    (Stands on top of his chair clutching shotgun in one hand and placing the palm of the other on his heart)

    The thundering roar of my shotgun represent my heartfelt enthusiasm for my Prez’s leadership and speech!!! (Discharges shotgun at the ceiling) Ow!! What was that for?!! (Gets hit by falling ceiling tiles)

    Pelosi: (Rolls eyes & headdesks multiple times)

  7. I think Nancy probably smiles warily and checks her garlic-clove necklace and silver cross before climbing up there to sit next to him.

    And Dick just snarls.

  8. “So, Dick, what are your plans for a year from now?”
    “Well, I thought I’d get back to tending my sulfurous lake of fire. Been away too long.”

  10. I suspect that when they do talk, they talk about how much they have in common. Which actually, is quite a bit, although there are some differences in their political opinions, on the the other hand, they agree with each other on more things than Pelosi agrees with democratic voters. I’ve always thought that Pelosi could run as a republican (in a different district then hers), without changing that many of her actual votes.

  11. Dick: “Since when were women allowed to sit up here?”

    They both look very uncomfortable. Cheyney looks like he’s trying to sit as far away from her as he can. “Oh, I’m going to get liberal cooties on me! Worse, female liberal cooties!”

  13. Cheney: *I hope no one can smell that.*

    Pelosi: *Oh god…not again…*

    Does it not look like he’s trying not to fart?

  15. Pelosi: Gee Cheney, What do you want to do tonight?

    Cheney: The same thing we do every night Pelosi – Try to take over the world.

  16. Nancy: “Got anything for indigestion?”

    Dick: “Hmph, pretty funny, bitch!”

    Later, Dick passes her some Tums, which he has been eating nonstop since 1978.

  18. “So Dick, where are you going once this is over?”

    “Well, the Death Star’s getting pretty rusty, so……”

  20. The thundering roar of my shotgun represent my heartfelt enthusiasm for my Prez’s leadership and speech!!! (Discharges shotgun at the ceiling) Ow!! What was that for?!! (Gets hit by falling ceiling tiles)

    Yeah, but Cheney’s shotgun is safer than Ted “Swimmer” Kennedy’s car.

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