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We Scratch Our Names In Concrete

I’m baaaacccck! Like a bad habit. I’ve been here before, around a year ago, but it’s probably time to expand on my introductions, both my original one on my blog and my previous intro here, “The Act of Bearing Witness”.

Who is Lubu? I’m a Sicilian-American, blue-collar, “unwed” mother, journeylevel electrician (almost 20 years in the trade) who is deeply involved in the life of my Local (and still involved, but to a lesser extent, in other area labor organizations and efforts). Labor activism runs in my family—literally in my blood and bones. My father served as President of his Local several times, and was an organizer. My mother served on the Executive Board of her Local and was a steward. My grandparents and great-grandparents were union members (my mother’s mother was also a steward). Talk of unionism, labor issues, internal union politics, and strategy from within and without was a feature of my upbringing; I was immersed in it, and learned those lessons like language without an accent. Lessons that would serve me, and continue to serve me well as a tradeswoman in a venue where many doors still remain closed, and the ceiling isn’t glass but hard concrete—-and that’s a whole ‘nother game. Yet still, labor history, struggles and activism remain a passion. I’m an old-school, shop-floor, rank-n-file, pound-the-pavement, knockin’-on-doors, knockin’-down-walls, standin’-up-in-the-Hall kinda union sister. I’d like to see more women enter the trades.

I’m Somebody’s Mother (*gasp*!), and my daughter was born three months premature, at one pound, ten ounces (735 grams). The struggles her birth and early development brought made me keenly aware of the failures of our current system of health insurance, and is damn likely to be the subject of a post on this gig. She is now turning eight, is in the second grade, and so I also take a strong interest in education, and am a vocal supporter of the public schools (I started subscribing to “Rethinking Schools”, a magazine for radical teachers, when my girl entered Early Start). I am interested in multiple intelligences, and various modes of learning.

I’m a survivor of domestic violence (from an early marriage that feels like a lifetime ago—I was 19, and divorced at 25), and grew up in an alcoholic household with all the violent levels of dysfunction that implies. I feel obligated to speak about it, ‘cuz those dysfunctions thrive under silence. The people living in the midst of that hell don’t. So. I have very little patience for those who demonize single mothers; unlike me, my daughter is growing up in an emotionally healthy home. Also, I want to change the assumptions about who survived DV; survivors are Everywoman, Everywhere. Doesn’t make it any easier to talk about, tho’. I am still close to my family (I’m an only child), including my large extended family. In addition to the regular silence and denial surrounding emotionally unhealthy families, there’s an added layer of omerta—I just don’t know how else to put it. If any of this sounds familiar to you, I want you to know you are not alone.

I’m a perpetual outsider. Grew up in different cities and different neighborhoods, but the one constant was that I never Fit In. “She ain’t from around here, is she?” No, she ain’t. But although that can be a negative in the provincial midwest, my outsider status has given me a perspective from multiple vantage points—and I exercise that protocol to the best of my abilities.

I’ve been a Feministe reader since back when it was solely Lauren’s gig. I found this place from Prometheus 6 when she got a mention for her post on whiteness. As to how long I’ve been feministe…..all my life. And I’m forty years old.

A couple of weeks ago I went for a walk. Ended up passing by one of the landmark buildings in my city, a spectacle of modern architecture, all green glass and angles, taking up practically two city blocks. (in case you were wondering, it leaks like a sieve.) I worked electrical maintenance in this building while pregnant—with every woman in the joint coming up to me and saying, “Wow! a pregnant electrician! How cool!” while I said, “SHHHHH!! that’s a secret! The guys just think I’ve gained a little weight!” One of my best friends was the project manager during that building’s construction. He was from a neighboring local, and he was universally hated throughout the length of the project.

Anyway, I noticed that a couple of the sidewalk slabs I was walking over had names on them. And I stopped to read them. There, frozen in time, were the names of many of the electricians who worked on the project—a project that was completed years before I entered the apprenticeship. The name of my daughter’s godfather is there. The Business Manager. Former union officers. I knew almost everyone who signed their name. Worked with ’em. Apprenticed under ’em. And then I saw Brother Tim Daugherty’s name. From back when he was young, full of piss-and-vinegar. Long before he thought taking a dive off the fourteenth floor of the hospital was a ticket out of pain.

It’s a common act—scratching one’s name in somewhere on the jobsite. Those slabs were unusual in that they were left to be, be visible. But the act itself? Endemic. It’s our way of reminding you we exist. People laid those bricks, hung those light fixtures, poured that concrete, drove those nails, laid that pipe. But we are still so invisible. Who tells our stories? I’ve seen the insides of the covers of junction boxes signed, with a Local number. Always a Local number. I’ve left my name behind, too, on walls above drywall ceilings, on I-beams, and yes, inside the covers of junction boxes.

We scratch our names in concrete, on steel, so someone, somewhere in the future, will know we were there. It’s universal. You may not know our thoughts, but dammit you will know our names.

And now you know mine. Assabenedica!


15 thoughts on We Scratch Our Names In Concrete

  1. Welcome! I’m very much looking forward to your posts.

    Can I ask at what specific week of gestation your daughter was born? Three months premature could be anywhere from 24 to 30 weeks, and I’m sure you’re aware that in that range the level of challenges changes significantly.

    My husband also grew up with alcohol-soaked violence. It really is everywhere, and cuts across all ethnicities and classes.

  2. Dr. Confused, my girl was born at 25 weeks gestation. I called her the “alphabet soup” baby. She had ROP, BPD, RDS, NEC, a grade II – III IVH, PVL, hell, even DIC once. She spent the first six months of her life in the hospital—well, two different hospitals, to be exact. I wired much of the NICU she spent the most time in. I never, ever, neverever thought I’d see that place again. (Actually, right before I “went under” for the emergency C-section, my last thought was looking up at the light fixture in the corner of the room and thinking “wow. I hung that light…” It was probably a feeble attempt at some form of control in the midst of a very uncontrollable situation.

    I had incompetent cervix. I had some barely-there spotting on a Friday, and by Wednesday afternoon I was being sliced open for a classic “c”. I’ve now got a line from my bellybutton to my pubic hair as my battle scar. It isn’t as impressive as my girl’s battle scars; she doesn’t have any self-consciousness about them now, and I hope that won’t change.

    She is a graduate of Early Intervention and Early Start, more forms of “welfare” that conservatives love to hate. Aaaahhh, yeah, I can feel this post coming on! But it’ll probably have to wait until Sunday night; I’ll be pressed for time tonight and Saturday, and if there’s one thing that post (or couple of posts) is going to need is time.

  3. All over Southern Connecticut, in expensive houses, my name appears in faint pencil scrawls on the back of crown molding and behund the baseboards of built-in bookcases.

    I also grew up in a house full of alcohol abuse and violent explosions.

  4. Welcome! I am from an Irish-Catholic union family (my uncle is an electrician with Local 103 in Boston, although, he’s kind of the member that gives unions a bad name). We got some plumbers, etc. I’m looking forward to your posts and perspectives! Also, single-moms rock! (Only child daughter raised by one right here!)

  5. My father was a union member for years, as was my mother. When I was in middle school, they both went out on strike at the same time. My mother was pro-organized labor until her death; my dad soured on unions because of experiences that I think were particular to his workplace, but because he was from a coal-mining family in a coal-mining town he retains to this day a real affection for miners’ unions.

  6. Welcome back to the fray.

    You link reminds me it’s been a while since I visited my feminist and explicitly Black womens’ lists. I’ve been feeling compelled by circumstances into near-hyper partisan mode.

  7. Anyway, I noticed that a couple of the sidewalk slabs I was walking over had names on them. And I stopped to read them. There, frozen in time, were the names of many of the electricians who worked on the project—a project that was completed years before I entered the apprenticeship.

    Oddly, I’ve known theatrical technicians to do the same thing to the scenery they’ve built, in places it won’t show. 🙂 Even though their names are (usually) in the program, no one really ever gives them a thought unless something falls over or doesn’t work. The saddest part is that their work is so ephemeral. At least your building is still standing. 🙂

    Welcome back, La Lubu! *big grin* I’m looking forward to reading your posts again. I’m from a blue collar family myself (my dad was in construction in various forms, lastly in waterproofing basements here in the wet ground of the Midwest), and am very pro-union. At least, when they work right. (Translation: when they don’t become corrupt bastions of old boy’s network.)

  8. I noticed that a couple of the sidewalk slabs I was walking over had names on them. And I stopped to read them. There, frozen in time, were the names of many of the electricians who worked on the project

    that is a beautiful story, and a beautiful tradition. i live in an old middle and working class neighborhood in Tejas (now being gentrified, i probably won’t live as long as i’d like). the homes were built in the 40’s, the sidewalks poured in the 1920’s. which i know because of one of my favorite features: every few houses, the original sidewalks have imprints from the person in charge of laying down the sidewalk. they all had their own casts it seems, so there’s a variety of names and logos. on my street it has a small horseshoe, with the inscription “Lucky Lou, 1925.” i make a point to watch the ground while i’m walking. i imagine Lou would be proud their work is being enjoyed over 80 years later!

    so thanks to all who’ve built our society. and thanks to those who leave their names for us to read, and help us remember these things weren’t the work of bureaucrats, but of hard-working human beings.

  9. Woo! Welcome back, you’re one of my favorite writers!

    When I used to go on vacation with my mom’s extended family, my uncle would bring his guitar and we would have hootenannys. The running joke was that passers-by must have thought we were Christian socialists – all the songs we sang together were either Christian spirituals (Rise & Shine, Oh Mary Don’t You Weep, Will the Circle Be Unbroken), union organizing songs (Casey Jones, Union Maid, Solidarity Forever), or political songs (Charlie on the MTA, Bread & Roses, a version of The Cat Came Back about nuclear disarmament).

    For the longest time I thought everyone grew up singing these songs!

  10. I feel obligated to speak about it, ‘cuz those dysfunctions thrive under silence. The people living in the midst of that hell don’t.

    Yes! Well put. And good to see you back (yay).

  11. union organizing songs

    Hey! My (3.5 year old) boys sing Solidarity Forever and Joe Hill with me. Lately we’ve been engaging in some great conversations about the lyrics and about bravery as fearlessness in defending the rights of others.

    I’m an academic and a proud union member. My parents raised me to understand why labor must organize. As far back as I can remember, I knew why we never crossed a picket line. Very immediately, I know darn well that without the union, I wouldn’t have had the medical insurance we needed when our boys were born 7 weeks early.

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