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I am getting a tattoo

Jill

tattoo.jpg
This guy? Totally loose.

I wanted one before, but now that I know it confirms my total whoredom, I’m doing it. This one’s for you, Debbie.

Just one thing: I don’t want the tattoo on my lower back. If I get it somewhere else, can we still call it a tramp stamp? Can I still be a big ol’ slut? Please?

I’ve written a lot about tattoos over the years. And while I know quite a few of my readers have them (I guess they are the exceptions to my generalizations), you still gotta wonder about why anyone would put permanent marks on themselves. I’m glad my religion forbids me from getting one.

In my view, they’re more forgivable on men. But, as I’ve written, a woman who doesn’t take long to agree to repeatedly put a needle in her body, generally doesn’t take long before she acquiesces to putting other things into her body. In other words, she’s easy.

Because, well, men are men and they’re forgiven all sins. Their tattoos aren’t indications of slutitude, or evidence of their desire to be penetrated by other men. They’re just tattoos. But for women, the willingness to put a needle in your body is an indication of a willingness to put a million penises in all of your orifices. Diabetics must be the sluttiest chicks ever!

It also takes a very special person to be glad that their religion forbids them to do something that they claim is really awful — because, what, otherwise Debbie might accidentally trip, fall, and end up with a rose on her ankle if it wasn’t for God telling her not to?

You know, I think murder is really bad. Thank goodness my Bible tells me its wrong, or who knows what could happen!

The comments are even better:

there is NOTHING pleasent about seeing a tatto right where the slut’s dirty ass in. I’m sorry, but any lady who has a tatto in the area and wears low rise jeans is a mark that says she’s a slut. How do we know if a guy is really looking at the tatto, or it’s just there as a distraction to really make the person see her dirty unattractive butt? Or…is it there to give the slut an excuse to ether have a belly ring or wear thigh (not hip) hugging jeans in the first place?

Look, I’m sick of having to see an asscrack from some slut sitting near me. And the sad thing is, this trend even goes as far as girls in the MUCH YOUNGER age range. And you wonder why pedophilla is going up?

That’s right: Dirty little girls are to blame when they’re raped or molested by pedophiles. Especially if they’re part of the legions of six-year-olds who are running around with lower back tattoos. Also, women with lower back tattoos have dirty butts.

It’s so bizarre that I almost don’t believe it’s for real. But yes, these people are serious. And ladies, in case you weren’t aware, social conservatives hate you. And they’re always looking for new excuses to hate you even more (abortion! the Violence Against Women act! sex without pregnancy! equal pay! low-rise jeans! lower back tattoos!).

I did get my bellybutton pierced when I was 16. It’s since been removed, but now I have a nose ring — how many whore-points does that score me? Is my ass dirty, or squeaky-clean?

58 thoughts on I am getting a tattoo

  1. There’s a chance I’m banned from Debbie’s comments, or maybe in moderation, but I thought I’d reiterate here my response to the following comment:

    Tramp-stampers should not be breeding.

    “Since I know how conservatives feel about the f-word, I’d like to ask what the approved method of response to someone slandering one’s wife and mother of one’s child. Suggestions accepted.”

    Probably came off a little patriarchal, but Augustienne doesn’t do blog commenting so she can’t really defend herself.

  2. Uhuh…

    Because wanting to decorate yourself is obviously only something people do when they want to fuck.

    Just like make-up, piercings and pretty clothes.

    What about people who go for the facial tattoos, like having your eyebrows replaced with a funky tribal pattern, having horn implants or thirty facial piercings? Is that all about sex?

    No wait… that’s devil worship, isn’t it?

    Yeesh…

    I wonder how these guys’d cope with my 22 year old, virgin friend with the tattoo that flows up from her pussy along her hip creases…

  3. But for women, the willingness to put a needle in your body is an indication of a willingness to put a million penises in all of your orifices.

    I knew there was a reason that I liked giving blood and let’s not let go of the thrill of vaccination.

  5. “It also takes a very special person to be glad that their religion forbids them to do something that they claim is really awful — because, what, otherwise Debbie might accidentally trip, fall, and end up with a rose on her ankle if it wasn’t for God telling her not to?”

    Seriously. That has got to be one of the weirdest things I’ve read in a while. It’s not like turning up at a parlor with a star of David pendant (or whatever) will get you denied service if you go completely out of your mind with tattoo-related sluttitude one weekend and decide that what you really need right now is a tiny needle penetrating your epidermis, either. Even assuming the artist knows that you’re an adherent of Religion X and that Religion X forbids tattooing, they’re likely to assume that you know that, are okay with that, and genuinely want the tattoo you’re trying to hire them to do.

  6. I read Debbie’s column, and I kept waiting for her to turn it on her head and explode the stereotypes and discuss how the media portrays women with tattoos verses men with tattoos, but then, it just turned out to be serious, with all that as the actual opinions of Debbie. Oh.

    That said, I personally hate tattooing, because it does freak me out how 1. a tattoo is forever 2. your skin is now a different color no matter how hard you scrub in the shower (the basis of a nightmare I had once!). However, my personal dislike does not mean that I hate people who get tattoos, or that I disrespect them, or that I can’t see how sometimes the tattoo is art. I also am under no delusion that I need a relgion to forbid me to do something I don’t want to do, because not wanting to do something like this is easy to avoid. I buy some impulse purchases at the grocery store or the drug store, but I have to make a special trip to impulse buy a damn tattoo at a damn tattoo parlor.

    If Debbie thinks that penises and needles are that the same, we need to have a moment of silence for her sex life and her sexual education.

  7. Omg, Jill you’re so not a tramp then. I, on the other hand, have an authentic tramp stamp–a lotus tat on my lower back. I know you’re jealous that Debbie doesn’t think you’re as big a whore as I am!

  9. One of my friends has a lower back tattoo . . . and the cherubim there doesn’t bring “tramp” to mind. In fact, I think there’s something seriously wrong if someone looks at a very nicely done angel and thinks WHORE. (It’s not even a “sexy” angel, just a little cherub hanging out.)

    Which again adds fodder to my theory that ultraconservatives are the real sexual deviants, because they can look at something as innocuous and not-their-business as a woman’s tattoo and think “TEH SECKS!”

    As for me, I guess my tats would only be sexual if anyone I encounter has a foot fetish. Ew.

  10. But, as I’ve written, a woman who doesn’t take long to agree to repeatedly put a needle in her body, generally doesn’t take long before she acquiesces to putting other things into her body. In other words, she’s easy.

    So is it OK if the tattoo artist buys her a fancy dinner first?

  11. I was once at Denny’s discussing the prospect of tattos with a girl friend of mine who was considering one. Our Denny’s waiter had the following commentary after my much girlier friend went to the bathroom:

    “Tattoos are cool, but man, tell her not to get one on her lower back or every guy she ever has sex with is going to want to do her doggy style and then pull out and cum on her tattoo.”

    I must say that I appreciated his candor. Though, depending on the person that may or may not be a deterrent.

    In reality the lower back is just a practical place to get a tattoo, it wont streatch as much there if you gain weight, and it is still easily concealable or show off able. People need to get over their desire to control other people’s bodies.

  13. I wonder if the number of tattoos corresponds to sluttiness of the woman. Let’s see, I have 4 tattoos so I must be 4 times as loose, but none are on my lower back so subtract one for a factor of 3 times as loose. However, one is near my lower back to I guess add .5 and get a score 3.5 times more slutty than the average girl, right?

    Of course, in my days of dating, when I saw a hot guy, I always made sure he saw my tattoos so he would know how much I wanted to have sex with him.

  14. I was going to say the same thing, Johanna. 🙂

    Love how she just openly admits the double-standard of tattoos being OK for men but not women. I could rant and rave all day about her piece and the comments but I don’t want my blood pressure to spike too much.

  16. By the way, Jill, what are you getting?

    That is a really excellent question. I wish I had an answer for you.

    I like the idea of text, and I have a favorite Adrienne Rich quote that’s fairly short, and I like the idea of putting it across the side of my hip/upper thigh (like the part of your side that boy-short underwear covers). But while I like it, it’s also kind of angst-y and maybe that’s obnoxious.

    So who knows. Maybe I’ll just go with the little Feministe gun-girl. (Yes, I did seriously consider that).

    Suggestions?

  17. Don’t put it anywhere likely to fall or get stretched out later on in life.

    Which is one reason I have mine on my lower back.

  18. auguste

    Your comment showed up…mine just below it:

    tramp-stamp?

    Geez, how utterly insulting and stupid can you be?

    I say that as an untattooed mom and grandma.

    Leave aside gangrelated tattooing…which does say something about the person, making such blanket “she’s a slut” statements about women, which includes CONSERVATIVE women, with decorative/meaningful tattoos is indicates more about the lack of class of the speaker than it does about the “slut.”

    Tattoos are more generational and have little to do with an individual’s social/political views (again, insert gang disclaimer here).

    all four of my daughters have tattoos (and three of them naval piercings) yet all are hardworking, ethical, conservative women.

    Debs is a pig in a class of her own.

  19. No tattoos yet, but I do have a nipple ring.

    Do I get tramp points for that? Extra credit when the barbell shows through my t-shirt because I’m not wearing a padded bra?

    Man, the slut-scale is so complicated.

    Re: tattoo suggestions. I’m sorely tempted to get Orion on my back, or the Pleiades; just dots representing the stars. But I’m a wimp, so I’m trying to figure out some place to get it where it wouldn’t hurt too bad.

  20. I wanted to be sure my tattoo wouldn’t get stretched out in the future so I got it on the top of my left foot.
    It’s five outlined stars, the constellation on the Australian flag (the Southern Cross). I got it when I returned to the US after spending a few months in Australia. It’s inconspicuous and simple, and not something I’d ever regret getting later (like Tweety bird or a man’s name).

  25. She definitely strikes me as an asshole, and Christ almighty, the comments are awful. I personally find lower back tattoos to be sexy, but I don’t understand the leap from “she did something sexy” to “she’s obviously a worthless whore”.

    I’ll admit, I’ve used the term “tramp-stamp” before, but I never meant it really as an insult. If anything at all, a lower back tattoo would indicate to me that a girl was more likely to be fun and not a high-strung pain in the ass (which I guess to those folks is the same as being a whore).

  26. I guess I’m a big … asexual slut? Not only did I get hardcore marathon-needle-sexed for over 6 hours, but I had my shirt off the whole time, lying down in a married man’s apartment. (His tattoo “practice” is in a room in the apartment that’s converted to a nice, sterile office area. Reminded me of a dentist’s office, actually … and he used to be a dentist.)

    Speaking of dentists, I guess whenever my dentist gives me a shot of anesthesia, that means I want to perform lots of blowjobs. And when I get blood drawn? Well, we won’t go into that. (I see, I get blood taken every few months, not because I’m ill but because I secretly long to fill my veins with penises.)

    Good thing my religion prevents me from decapitating morons …

  27. I’ve got one tat, a navel ring, and a nose stud. How slutty does that make me? Can someone else do the calculus for me?

    Also, my tat is on my hip, not my lower back (but probably closer to my dirty, dirty butt), but can I call it a tramp stamp anyway? I mean, I really am rather a tramp, and I figure it’d only be truth in advertising.

  29. wait, if the needle is a stand in for penetration, does that mean that men who get tattoos are gay?
    so my ex with the partial sleeve and neck tattoo was really hungering to be penetrated by another man?
    or does this kind of ridiculous speculation not extend to men?

  30. But, as I’ve written, a woman who doesn’t take long to agree to repeatedly put a needle in her body, generally doesn’t take long before she acquiesces to putting other things into her body.

    (italics mine)

    I guess Deb thinks women are all coerced into getting their tats, because no true lady would decide to get inked on her own. Oh my heavens no.

    That being said, I’m also in the process of designing my new tattoo…a 30th birthday present to myself. I just can’t decide where to put it, as my lovely green celtic knotwork shamrock takes up all the space on my lower back. Rrrwowr!

  31. Norah, I had this image bookmarked on my browser for like a year – it sound like what you just described! But I never ended up getting it. Sometimes I get a craving for another tat but as of right now it’s just one. Do you have a photo or anything?

  32. Does this mean that the piercings in my ears are drawing attention to my dirty, dirty brain?

    BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!! *snork!*

    Oooh, boy, am I glad I wasn’t drinking anything just then! *grin* LOVE that one! So I guess my *double* pierced ears make me, what? An information/education slut? (Well…. I AM awfully easy for any unattached facts laying around….) Or do they just mean I’m dirty minded? (hmmmmm, that fits too…)

    Gotta say, though, I’ve always disliked the term “tramp stamp”. It lays a judgment on women who’ve gotten ink that is not only superficial/not based in *any* other facts, but is NEVER laid on men. Ever. No matter how much ink they have where. Besides, (not to get all smug or anything) but I personally find it unnecessary to judge people on their sexuality, unless they are deliberately hurting other people.

  33. Heh. I can’t keep throwing comments down the hole (so to speak) over there but I also wanted to highlight this other quote from comments:

    Memo to women: Yes, men like to screw around. But men think that women who screw around are utter garbage and only good for sex.

    Is there a better two-sentence distillation of The Patriarchal Mindset than that comment? I don’t reckon there is.

  35. I’m a thirty-year-old virgin with four tattoos. You know, I already guessed I wasn’t a good enough virgin when that politician from South Dakota said a while back that the only woman who deserved an abortion was a brutalized church-going virginal preteen raped and sodomized for days by a crowd of men, but now I *know* I’m bad at it.

    Also, if she thinks a tattoo needle’s comparable to an erection (or twelve), then obviously I know more about sex than she does. That’s almost sad. Almost.

  38. lol, as a Diabetic, it’s good to find out that keeping myself alive = slut to be. And I still want a tattoo. Even if it puts me at greater risk for slutdom. Except I want it on my foot. I wonder what that means…

  39. I love how there’s a bunch of assumptions made here:

    First, that having a tattoo makes you easy.
    Then, that all women are going to have children, or at least the good ones are.
    Then, that you MUST HAVE AN EPIDURAL TO HAVE CHILDREN BECAUSE OH THE PAIN.

    Not mentioning here the points ( a )one could not have children ( b )one could just not have an epidural if they were that concerned for the safety of their child …which is actually better for the child since you can feel when to push, etc ( c ) you can go around the tattoo, as it mentions in the article ( d )the fact that epidurals are BY NATURE potentially a risk to children because they’re putting chemicals in your bloodstream and can cause such things as stroke and sepsis, as well as infant death…

    But then this is someone who thinks that tattoos = sluts; I’m not expecting a plethora of logic.

  40. I have got to say I feel spectacularly sorry for women who got ‘lower back’ tattoos before they became ‘tramp stamps’. There must have been a time when they were doing something very unique, cutting edge and individual; rather than something that loads of women have and that’s looked down on as rather cheap. People who wore burbury could stop when the symbolism changed.

    Tattoos are signifiers. People know what they imply and people get them because they know what they imply. The fact is, these tattoos are currently called tramp stamps and people do get them knowing their connotations and because of those connotations. I wouldn’t say the act of getting a tattoo confirms your total whoredom, but the cultural symbolism of lower back tattoos is to do with having a liberated attitude towards your sexuality – that’s pretty much the point of them.

  41. amazing that the womens lib fist tatted in all black big on my upper left arm makes me a slut, i thought it made me one of them man hatin’ feminazis. or the k in a small heart on the inside of my wrist for my friend who died of cancer at 22, honoring the people you love is slutterific. i cant wait til i finally have the money to complete full sleeves, ill be the biggest whore in town!

  42. NORAH! You have GOT to be kidding me! I saw “Bret’s tattoo shop” and I was like, “It can’t be…”
    Sure enough, THAT’S the exact tattoo I’d been eyeing for months! That is crazy. I’m like shaking.

  43. But for women, the willingness to put a needle in your body is an indication of a willingness to put a million penises in all of your orifices. Diabetics must be the sluttiest chicks ever!

    I laughed till I almost cried.

    Then I read that whole “dirty butt” comment and just almost cried.

  44. Jasmine, I must admit that I wondered how close her inspection of the lower back tattoos was that she could form an opinion of the cleanliness of the butts below them.

  45. Does this mean that the piercings in my ears are drawing attention to my dirty, dirty brain?

    HAH, that made my day.

    And totally makes me want to get more holes in my head.

  46. You know, this whole over-sexualization of a particular PLACE (lower-back) for a tattoo reminds me of a recent conversation with my mom. I recently got my lip pierced, and when my aunt found out, she was rather horrified. She apparantly told my mom that if I ever got my tongue pierced I would never be allowed in her house again!

    So, my mom and I started talking about the generational views of the whole tongue-ring/blow job connection. No one I know in my generation makes a strong correlation between the two. Apparantly, though, my aunt and mom both think the only reason anyone ever gets their tongue pierced is to give blow-jobs. They also apparantly think that anyone without a tongue-ring never gives them – for instance, my aunt has never asked about my blow-job giving habits in order to permit me into her home. For some reason, the lip ring escapes this stigma, but my mom “didn’t want to explain why”.

    Anyway, crap like this really makes me mad. My body adornment is for MY pleasure damn it! It’s not an invitation or indicator of my sex life!

  47. Anyone who makes a judgement about a person’s character based on his or her abundance of tattoos & piercings (or lack thereof) is really missing out.

  48. I am a slut. Do I need to go out and get some tattoos now so that people are aware of this?

    Yes. Do not move. The authorities are heading your way to revoke your membership as we speak.

  49. Oh, this all reminds me of a story related to lower-back tattoos:

    My friend saw this woman once with an inked pineapple in that spot, and laughingly reported to us that the pineapple is basically a Hawaiian symbol for “welcome in”….casting no aspersions on the woman (of course), but the unintended symbolism was just too funny.

  50. Just wear a tight outfit and speak your mind. That’ll get you slut status quick-like.

    I have a tattoo and my recommendation for you is: make sure they use a small needle. Better to have a more painful experience than a tattoo without precision.

  52. I think I’d like a bug tattoo, but I can’t decide which insect or where. Maybe I’ll get one that looks like a line of bugs crawling out of my pants – I bet that one lady would LOVE to sit next to that on the bus.

  53. NORAH! You have GOT to be kidding me! I saw “Bret’s tattoo shop” and I was like, “It can’t be…”
    Sure enough, THAT’S the exact tattoo I’d been eyeing for months! That is crazy. I’m like shaking.

    Sarah, lolz! You should get it, the color is still gorgeous after 6 years.

    Do you live in the Newport area? I’m in MA, but I went to Cap’n Bret on the recommendation of a friend. He’s apparently THE GUY to see for celtic and tribal, and he’ll also do your own designs for you.

  54. I don’t live in MA anymore but I used to. I got my tattoo in Plymouth and then searched for other recommended artists in the area and found Bret’s page.

    Crazy!

  55. Oh, hell, I’m a lost cause, with my tenth tattoo scheduled to be inked next week (my ninth was on my lower back), plus the eight earrings, nose stud, and belly ring.

    I actually read a comment in a thread about the epidural thing (on Gawker, I think?) from someone who honestly couldn’t understand why any woman would get one if it wasn’t to show off during anal sex. Someone quickly corrected them to say, no, it was just to show off during and claim a preference for doggie-style. What the hell? I got mine done because it was a rather personal line of text that I didn’t want just anyone to get to see. They said because the woman herself could never see it (I don’t know about you guys, but I have this awesome new-fangled invention I like to call A MIRROR) she couldn’t possibly be doing it for any other reason.

    Also, on a less irritated note, if any of you are looking to get a text tattoo and are in the NYC area (or traveling there, such as myself), you should really check out Stephanie Tamez at NY Adorned. She does the best text work I’ve ever seen in my life.

  56. I think it’d be fun to get a “Hardcore Feminist” lower back tat. I just amuse myself picturing the reactions of ogling frat boys. Like vampires glimpsing a cross…

  57. I personally don’t have any tattoos (I have an aversion to pain, plus, they’re permanent), but both my younger sisters do. My youngest sister (married mother of two) has a campfire on her lower back, specifically, “because I’m that hot,” and my other sister has three–a flower on her upper thigh, a vining flower pattern across her shoulder blades, and her daughter’s footprint on her right foot (her biracial daughter–my lily white sister is a single mom who is living in sin–in an open relationship, even– with the black father of her child). She also has her belly button and one nipple pierced, and is considering having her eyebrow done.

    Does this make my little sisters both horrible sluts? Or are they perhaps just women who like to decorate themselves and have a good time, and who cares how much sex they’ve had because (1) the tattoo is no indication of that, and (2) so what anyway.

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