In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

The Feministe Anti-Awards

Lauren

I’m tired of being passed up for awards, and I’m sure you are too. Thus, I announce the Feministe Anti-Awards, a game of speed and wit, and preferably a boatload of pictures.

Rules for the Feministe Anti-Awards:

  1. Write on your own blog why you think you should win the award of your choice. Include pictures if necessary. Be thorough, not greedy.
  2. First person to nominate him/herself for the award wins the award. No, really. Leave a comment here if you cannot trackback, or use the Trackback Pinger.
  3. More categories will be added if any latecomers want an award of their own; however, no additional categories will be added until all of these are taken. Show us your moles, or take one for the team and give yourself the Brown Eye Award.
  4. Copy the picture to your blog, announcing your undeniable win.

And the categories are:
The “Most Shameful Stash” Award Congratulations to eRobin!

The “Reddest Hair” Award Congratulations to Krista!

The “Prettiest Car” Award Although SB provided pictures of her pretty CATS to claim this award, we will allow it because cats can hypothetically be modes of transportation. How many cats does it take to drive a sled?

The “Brownest Eye” Award Congratulations to Newswriter!

The “Brown Eye” Award Congratulations to the blogless Ryan!

The “No One Reads My Blog But It’s Really Good, I Swear” Award Congratulations to Amy!

The “Bad (In the Good Way) Mother” Award Do a little dance for the Purple Elephant!

The “Angry Feminist” Award Congratulations to Amanda (as nominated by Trish who broke the rules by nominating someone other than herself. Bad.)

The “Middle-Class Punk Rock Slummer” Award Congratulations to Jane!

The “Shameless Meme Spreader” Award Scribbling Woman wins by a nose!

The “Ugliest, Hairiest Raised Mole” Award Tild takes one for the team!

The “Messiest Desk” Award Congratulations to Roxanne!

The “Pretty Good Blogger… For a Man” Award Bang a gong for T.Rex!

The “Green Coffee Mug” Award Congratulations to Lorn!

The “I Can’t Believe I Blogged About This” Award Congratulations to Carmen! Lab Kat is a close runner-up.

The “Bigass Group Blog” Award A fist in the air for Feminist Blogs, nominated by Amanda who knows better.

The “I’m Ashamed I Own This Book” Award Congratulations to Trish!

The “Pinkest Lipstick” Award Congratulations to Bird!

The “Cutest Child(ren) Other Than Ethan” Award Congratulations to PickleJuice!

The “Pretentious Math Whiz” Award Toot a whistle for Raznor!
and finally

The “Codpiece” Award Congratulations to the greedy Ryan for accepting a second award on behalf of S.O.C.K.

Good luck, folks.

1/8/05: This round is over! Keep an eye out for round two.

1/9/05: Part Deux is in full effect. Get your Anti-Award now!

36 thoughts on The Feministe Anti-Awards

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  2. The “No One Reads My Blog But It’s Really Good, I Swear” Award – I have my fingers crossed. Possibly some other loser is typing just a little faster than I am, at this very moment…

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  5. I once blogged about my hairy legs, how I was considering shaving them, and the problems posed by the lack of acceptable razor blades for sale at the two stores I frequent. Does that qualify for “I can’t believe I blogged about this”?
    Oh yes, and I usually lurk.

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  11. Okay, I’m going to go for the Most Shameful Stash award after, believe it or not, long thought. I like to say that I’m not ashamed of the twenty romance novels that I LOVE and will not part with – strong woman and all that – but the fact is that when a college friend and his wife (both public defenders in NYC) came to visit and the man saw the row of books on the shelf, I had to sit on my hands and bite my tongue to stop from jumping up to defend them. But I do love’em! One is even dedicated to me because I wrote a fan letter to the author.

    Picture and acceptance speech here. And if you click over, leave your answer to What Do You Believe to be True but Can’t Prove? It’s on the first page.

  12. I’m going to break the rules, being the rule-breaker that I am, and vote for Mouse Words for the “Angriest Feminist Blogger” Award. I hope Amanda sees this and votes for herself.

    When I saw your “Brown Eyes” award, at first I thought it said “Brown Nose” award. There are so many possibilities for that one. Maybe you should add it to your list. ;D

  13. I nominate myself for the “I Can’t Believe I Blogged About This Award,” especially for my post about the Radical Muslim cleric who didn’t show up for his court hearing because he said his toe nails were so long he couldn’t walk. Doesn’t that clown have toe nail clippers???

  14. Damn! Someone beat me to that category. I put on my blog another entry – one for “I Can’t Believe I Own This Book.” I own “Greasy, Grimy, Gopher Guts,” which is about children’s subversive nursery rhymes. I used to say some of those when I jumped rope when I was a kid.

  15. hellooo. i would like to nominate myself for THE PINKEST LIPSTICK AWARD! i don’t know if my livejournal officially counts as a blog, but both that and my website (which, like many blogs, is run by wordpress!) have extensive evidence of my pink lipstickness. so i feel that i deserve to bend the rules a little too. especially since this is an ANTI-award celebration!

    here are some rather old links, from neither my questionable blog or my wordpress-run website: http://witchbabyblue.tripod.com/various.html
    and http://witchbabyblue.tripod.com/fleurs.html

    both of these links, unquestionably, show the true spirit of pinkness in my lipstick. (please try to ignore the single image in which my lips are silver.) also, please accept this as my nomination AND explanation, as i wasn’t sure where to post it. and decided just to post it here.

    hmm. i see i’ve broken a couple rules. but my lips… you will find none pinker!

    sincerely yours,
    pinky “bird” pinkerton

  16. Can I get an award for Weblogger Most Likely to Get Lost in the Woods? I would post so on my site, but we’re under DDoS attack and the whole ISP is down. If I can’t, then can I have Angry Feminist instead?

    Why? Well Why the &*&*(U#@$ not!

    Hee.

  18. I would like to nominate myself for the prestigious Brown Eye award because I have brown eyes. Three of them.

    Thanks to this anomaly, as no others I am aware of have three brown eyes, I’ve gained critical fame in many circles. I’ve had cocktails and cock-tales named after me. It’s fantastic, really, to be regarded with such esteem and respect by those in the bartending and adult entertainment industries.

    For those Southerners out there looking for some hot browns, I’m your man.

    I’d like to thank God and my wonderful mother, for without them, this award/affliction would not be possible. God bless America. Support our troops, especially the brown (eyed) ones.

  19. Despite defeating the countless others clambering for the “brown-eye” award, i find myself in need of just a little bit more. Okay, a lot more. I hereby nominate myself for the codpiece award, and i do so only for the most personal reasons. You see, my father was a real trendsetter in the world of codpieces ( in fact, he WAS a codpiece), and as a representative of The Sons Of Codpiece-wearing Kin (S.O.C.K.), I feel that it is my duty to accept this award, even if I am not afforded the opportunity to accept it. I’d like to thank (once again) our almighty Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and my mom. Thanks Mom!!!! Call the guy who does the bronzing; my codpiece is comin’ home!!!!!

  22. Damn, the “Bad in a Good Way Mother” award is split between Dru Blood and Flea. I want to see the throw down! I accept the award, by the way, and I kicked a small child just to prove it.

    May I suggest a category “Most Cats”?

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  26. Kewl! I won one of the awards – the “I’m Ashamed I Own This Book” award! Yeah, I’m a rule-breaker. Bad. That’s why I’m loved so much. Hee hee. 😉

    Just for kicks, here’s one of the subversive nursery rhymes from the book, Greasy, Grimy, Gopher Guts. It is dated circa 1959.

    I shot an arrow in the air,
    Where it lands I know not where.
    From my maiden I heard a grunt,
    Though it hit her in the …
    Country boy, country boy, sitting on a rock,
    Gopher came along and bit off his …
    Cocktail, cocktail, five cents a glass,
    If you don’t like it, shove it up your …
    Ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies.
    If you get hit by a bucket of sh–
    Be sure to close your eyes.

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  29. Damn, damn, damn – had I been a few hours quicker, I could have snagged the Pretentious Math Whiz Award. Oh, sure, Raznor not only beat me to the punch, he used set theory to make an argument about abortion – but did he discuss the US election ONLY in the context of voting theory? Did he crochet a fractal, hmmmm?

    With this in mind, Ms Lauren, I plead with you to reconsider your “first come, first served” policy on this award. If crocheting a fractal and ignoring every non-mathematical aspect of the US election don’t warrant an exception, what on earth does?

  31. Moebius, I suppose it’s up to Raznor to see if he wants to share the award, but I suggest you go for the hairy mole award. After all, he won the “PRETENTIOUS Math Whiz” award and I imagine he’ll hog it to it’s death.

  32. Damn, I’d better give up on the math geek award if it’s up to Raznor. When math geeks get possessive, things can get pretty ugly. We only LOOK like submissive nerds.

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  36. Wonderful! I finally have a little badge that says I’ve won something. Perhaps we should all take turns mounting our own awards. Collect ’em all.

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