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Giving “feminine protection” a whole new meaning

Behold the Pink Stinger:

The copy is a riot:

A new trend in security systems is on the horizon that will inspire the self defense/security demographic, shock the criminal community and give a new-found respect to the dismal tampon sector.

Ladies can replace that monthly period with an exclamation mark as feminine hygiene goes lethal with The Pink Stinger, a taser/stun gun creatively disguised as a tampon…except for the buttons, prods and high voltage. This weapon of mass absorption aims to target a niche market consumer, that being the tampon wielding women who desire private and discreet security in a friendly familiar package.

The tampon taser/stun gun is the latest in portable and personal security systems. The beauty of this taser/stun gun, aptly named The Pink Stinger, is its ingenious design and ability to be concealed nicely and unassumingly into any purse for ultimate stealth. The taser’s gentle glide zapplicator easily fits in the palm of your hand for incredible comfort and protection and ready for honorable discharge at a moments notice. In addition, its fresh floral scent helps eliminate the smell of fear, not just cover it up.

Found at Laurie Toby Edison’s Body Impolitic.

Posted in Fun

32 thoughts on Giving “feminine protection” a whole new meaning

  1. I remember when tampons used to always be disguised not to look like tampons. I wonder what the taser disguised as a tampon that’s disguised not to look like a tampon might look like?

  2. As long as you don’t reach into your purse during a long night of drinking and pull out the wrong package, I guess it’s fine.

    Plus I love the idea of some misogynist a-hole getting zapped by a tampon.

  3. I wonder what the taser disguised as a tampon that’s disguised not to look like a tampon might look like?

    A taser?

    I’m just sayin’.

  4. Wacky. When I just saw the title on my RSS reader, I had assumed it would be about rape-xthe “anti-rape condom”. Doesn’t look like it’s available yet.

  5. Do the copy writers know so little of female anatomy that they think that looks like “a tampon”? Because hello, it’s two tampons.

  6. And not only that, it’s two opened tampons. Who keeps opened tampons in her purse? They could get dusty!

  7. I’m reminded of an old “Bloom County” strip from 20 years ago where the characters get to squabbling about “Just what IS ‘feminine protection’- a chartreuse flame thrower?”

    Not far off the mark…

  8. Is there a reason women specifically need a taser designed just for them and designed to look as if they don’t have something to defend themselves with? I mean. A) This is one more implication that it’s our job to defend ourselves from being attacked and/or raped, instead of men’s job not to do it in the first place, and B) what negative consequences do they imagine we’ll suffer if someone sees that we have a taser in our purse? Some guy won’t want to buy us a drink because he’s afraid that later when he tries to hold us down in the back seat of his car we’ll zap him?

  9. Is there a reason women specifically need a taser designed just for them and designed to look as if they don’t have something to defend themselves with?

    The jokey answer is that it’s funny. I mean, come on, it’s a weapon shaped like something that most men fear to begin with! I’d almost buy one for the comedy alone, but I don’t need one.

    The slightly more serious answer is that there is an advantage to having a hidden/disguised weapon if you’re in a bad situation. If the guy doesn’t realize he’s about to be Tased, he won’t wrestle you to get it away from you before you can use it on him. It’s the old “knife in the stocking” trick that you’ve seen in really late-night movies on TCM.

  10. What, doesn’t everybody have a double vagina?

    That made me laugh my ass off.

    I don’t know what tampons everyone else is using, but the tampons I have NEVER LOOK LIKE THAT. I mean, for starters, they’re not bright pink. And . . . well, just about everything else. A least they got the string right.

  11. Do the copy writers know so little of female anatomy that they think that looks like “a tampon”? Because hello, it’s two tampons.

    Must be for that super specialized kangaroo market.

  12. Cara:

    Tampax Pearls look like that. (Except, you know, singular.) The ones I have are light blue.

  13. Even though I thought this was funny at first, I think slythwolf brings up some very good points. Why is it that women have to be held responsible for being raped? It’s as if guys are already expected to rape women, and that it’s normal. It’s like: “hey folks, make sure you don’t forget your taser, and make sure you don’t walk out alone at night, and make sure you do this or that since men are natural predators and your female body is like a hunk of raw meat!”
    Sheesh!

  14. I laughed and thought ‘ha ha, that’s hilarious!’

    Then I realized it was real.

    Making a tazer for women is one thing. But man, I am SICK of products being marketed to women by making them ‘cutesy’ and ‘girly’. Look, girls, a pink playstation with pink accessories! Look, a pink tool set that is made for your little girly hands! Look, a cute little pink tazer! And it even looks like a tampon! Tee hee!

    That got old when I was TEN, dammit.

  15. well, i have a pink razr phone and a pink ipod, because i happen to like pink. but when it comes to my personal protection, i’ll stick with my gunmetal gray smith & wesson 9mm. because i like gunmetal gray too.

  16. Tampax Pearls look like that. (Except, you know, singular.) The ones I have are light blue.

    Well, Brittany, I will have to grant you the fact that it’s been many years since I’ve used a tampon with an applicator. I must be out of touch.

  17. What got me shaking my head wasn’t so much the colour or the looks as it was the floral scent.

    Seriously, who needs scented tasers?

  18. Who needs scented tampons? Do they actually make tampons with scents? Because I really wouldn’t want to put anything like that in my vagina. I shudder to think at the irritation it would cause.

    This thread is making me really happy that I switched to sea sponges and organic tampons. Oh, and that I’m on Seasonale so I only get a period once every three months, anyway.

  19. Then I realized it was real.

    I read that site carefully, and I don’t think it is. I think it’s a joke. In fact, I think the reason it looks so realistic is that the tampons are real tampons made up to look like a taser, not a taser moulded to look like tampons. I do want one, though, b/c I think it’s funny as hell.

    Cara- I don’t know about scented tampons, but scented pads and pantiliners have been on the market for years and years and years.

    (heh, firefox spell check was written by a man. it thinks pantiliners is spelled wrong.)

  20. Usually the mere sign of a real tampon is enough to get a guy to back out of the room rapidly.

  21. If I were a woman, I would never carry this product: I am so clumsy, that I would end up mistaking it for one of my tampons, and give myself a nasty electric shock as I wondered “why are these two tampons stuck together?”

  22. I’m not sure it’s any better that it’s a joke. Because therefore, isn’t the joke “ha, men are scared of tampons because, ew, icky”?

    I am inclined to forgive it, though, if only for the word “zapplicator”.

  23. rainne, I thought that was what made it funny – tampons are essentially nonthreatening unless you’re a creepy woman-hating douchebag. It’s like having a taser that’s disguised as an iPod, but with some extra mockery of sexists added in. That’s just my take, though.

    (Actually, an iPod taser would be hilarious. The earbuds could be the prods!)

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