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All of my wildest dreams have come true.

Jill

Beyonce and Shakira have done a song together.

The song kind of sucks, and the video kind of sucks even worse, but I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Beyonce. Shakira. Together in one song. It’s like I’ve died and gone to heaven. And, yeah, the “pearly gates” might actually be made of rusty iron, but hey, I’m still in heaven.

I saw the video in the gym this morning, and then walked out of the gym to discover that my favorite espresso place has opened up a store across the street. Previously they were only all the way on Avenue C, which is a 15-minute hike from my apartment in the opposite direction of anywhere I ever go. But now I have a reward for getting my ass to the gym before class. And this is a major motivator. I was pretty close to tears watching them make my cappuccino this morning. They only have one size — and it’s not Starbucks-huge! They don’t offer any flavoring! They have a beautiful stainless steel Italian-made machine! The barista only used the middle of the shot, and removed the cup before the end! The foam was superior!

Beyonce. Shakira. Cappuccino.

The only thing that could possibly ruin my day would be Lauren shutting down Feministe to punish me for writing about Beyonce again.

24 thoughts on All of my wildest dreams have come true.

  1. The Shakira/Beyonce thing doesn’t necessarily do it for me…but 9th St. Espresso more easily accessible? Now THAT is a reason to be happy!

  3. The only thing that could possibly ruin my day would be Lauren shutting down Feministe to punish me for writing about Beyonce again.

    Expect a DOS attack this evening, Cinderella.

  5. I agree with Fellow-ette, the song grows on you. I watched the video a few (okay, like 20) times trying to pick up belly dancing moves, and I definitely started to like the song. Even now, I am humming it to myself. Besides, I like its “let’s not blame the other girl and get in a catfight… let’s blame the jackass guy who was playing both of us” message.

  7. Beyonce leaves me cold, always has, but I’m with you on the Colombian reina.

    Great duets make me happy. When I saw Norah Jones and Keith Richards together a few years ago, it was transcendent.

    And like all sensible people, I just want Olivia and Elliot to get it on “for real.” And run away together.

    And I want James Gandolfini to do a really good Woody Allen movie. With Toni Collette. And I want Emmylou Harris and Elton John to figure out the right song for them to record together…

    And I want John Edwards to pick Bill Richardson as his running mate.

    I am full of duet ideas.

  8. It’s a shame most of you only know Shakira only through her English albums. Listen to her Spanish albums (learn Spanish if you must; she’s that good). Seriously, Shakira is a legend, far superior to Beyonce. I can’t stand Beyonce anymore. What the fuck happened to that woman talking about how you shouldn’t depend on a man’s finances for your worth, how you should be independent? Now, she’s obsessed with keeping her man in her songs simply b/c he’s loaded. I don’t care what anywone says, Jay-Z is a proud and violent bigot in his music (and ugly as sin), and no amount of money is worth the trouble.
    Is there even one popular English-language female singer one can respect anymore? Amy Winehouse wrote that song about how she wanted a man who can dominate her while callously dismissing “weak” men (the ones who don’t try to control you) so no; and Lily Allen gripes about sexist body image politics (she hates Posh Spice and blames her and mags for girls’ health problems) and how patronizing music mags can be towards female artists, yet she loves Eminem (I’d take the pressure to be thin and patronizing remarks anyday over music from the point of view of a horribly violent and sadistic bigot, but that’s just me). I still listen to both their albums, but I just wish they could be completely bad-ass. Beth Ditto of Gossip qualifies, but her band isn’t mainstream…yet.

  9. I can’t see the video b/c my work blocks that stuff during business hours, but I assume it’s the Beautiful Liar video. When we’re done fawning all over the vocals, let’s start a feminisit critique of what they are wearing and how they are dancing. Total patriarchally defined femininity. The part that really made me sick were the “strong and sexy” comments coming from the crew who initially introduced me to the video. Let’s not confuse bowing down to the patriarchal mandate as strength. It’s more like necessary-evil-to-have-a-singing-career-when-you-are-female.

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  11. Shakira as a music artist is one I like, even when I am not a fan of a particular song. Shakira definitely has an interesting and intriguing world music feel in many of her compositions and collaborations. Also not only is she good at singing, she knows what she is doing when she picks up the guitar. Beyonce not so much. Beyonce always came off to me in talent level as a step above of your average American Idol hopeful.

    The funny thing about the video is that I kept wondering if they actually ever met one another. Except for a couple of interactions towards the end, the video looked like it was two separate shootings intermixed together. Maybe it was my imagination, but the two of them dancing together at the end seemed slightly off in their timing.

    Overall though I would not discourage any in their pursuit of their musical (or caffeinated) bliss, since I can always put my headphones on and listen to my preferred female vocalists like Brody Dalle or Patricia Day while enjoying a chai.

  12. Hmm, I didn’t find the music video to be particularly demeaning or sexist. Sure, they’re very traditionally feminine/sexy, and I wouldn’t mistake anything in here for empowerment, but nor does it strike me as offensive in and of itself. I wasn’t listening to the lyrics, though, so I can’t speak to that.

    I spent half the time watching this video trying to figure out which was Beyonce and which was Shakira. I never thought they looked remotely similar before, but the low-res didn’t help. Song’s OK, video’s not horrible but it does seem like whoever came up with the concept was feeling phenomenally lazy. And Shakira is leaps and bounds sexier than Beyonce, who’s always struck me as a bit vapid.

  14. It’s a shame most of you only know Shakira only through her English albums. Listen to her Spanish albums (learn Spanish if you must; she’s that good). Seriously, Shakira is a legend

    So true. She’s an amazing lyricist in Spanish, but she always sounds slightly comical to me singing in English! I like her earlier albums much better than her bilingual phase.

  15. It’s true, her Spanish-language stuff is great. I’ve been a big fan ever since “Estoy Aqui,” and I have all of her Spanish albums. Although I’ve gotta say, it is REALLY hard to beat Hips Don’t Lie. I almost fell off my treadmill when I saw that video for the first time.

  16. When we’re done fawning all over the vocals, let’s start a feminisit critique of what they are wearing and how they are dancing. Total patriarchally defined femininity. The part that really made me sick were the “strong and sexy” comments coming from the crew who initially introduced me to the video. Let’s not confuse bowing down to the patriarchal mandate as strength. It’s more like necessary-evil-to-have-a-singing-career-when-you-are-female.

    Agreed. Like I said in the post, the video sucked, and this is part of the reason I thought it sucked. Plus it was just uncreative and kind of boring.

  17. Donde Estan Los Ladrones? is a fabulous album.

    “Ojos Asi” wins for most fantastic use of doumbeks in a “mainstream” song. 😀

    This song, however, is awful. ::sad::

    (I liked their dresses though.)

  19. Caro (and anyone else interested in belly dance):
    Please, please, *please* do not use this particular video to pick up belly dance moves!! While the Mayas (reverse vertical figure 8s) they did together were REALLY nice and *dead on*, there wasn’t a lot more in there that was legitimately Middle Eastern Dance. It was more ME dance fused with modern freestyle stuff (not hip-hop — what would I call it?) with extremely wide stances, and the part at the end, while definitely ME dance flavored (full body undulations), made my back hurt in sympathy for them. BAD dance posture with their butts all stuck out in the air like that — they’re eventually going to feel that in their lower backs. *sigh* As I understand it, Shakira IS quite the dancer — can’t comment on that as I don’t watch music videos much. However, this particular video does NOT show her dance off very well. And choppy editing — bleah.

    As for the rest of it, I could have done with a whole lot less of the “feeling myself up” moves. Yawn. A little of that, done right, can be sexy. Too much looks very much like pandering to the boys watching vids late at night, by themselves. *sigh* It’d be nice to be able to understand the lyrics without feeling like I need subtitles, too, but that’s a common complaint of mine. Enunciate!!!! Gotta say, though, I’m liking Shakira’s voice. 🙂 Might have to look into some of her early stuff.

  20. I’m still holding out for a Lily Allen/Amy Winehouse duet. 😀

    How can you tell them apart?

    I mean, Winehouse is a kinda-cute brunette from London who sings about bad relationships and getting fucked up, while Allen is … errr ….

  21. Yes, Shakira before she tried to break into the English-language market was inspirational (and her lyrics do lose something in the translation or just fall flat when she tries English). She’s but a shadow of her former self; many fans are disappointed. I miss the ol’ Shakira, the one who rocked that leather outfit and bright red locks to sing the hell out of “Inevitable.” (Now that’s a video you should check out on YouTube. ) She always showed her vulnerability, even her intense bitterness and revenge without being pitiful, like, an Alanis. Her songs were cathartic yet they didn’t trap you with “woe is me.”
    Perhaps her downturn has to do with that dead-end relationship of hers? They’ve been “engaged” for years.

  22. janeish, it’s not demeaning like porn is demeaning, but seriously, it’s like a checklist: plunging neckline, check. high heels, check. two hot chicks rolling around on the floor, check. You know why they look so similar? B/c they have all the same trappings. If you dressed me up, curled and teased my hair, taped up my boobs, and put that style of make-up on me, I’d fit into that video, too. And then I hear people talking about how awesome it is, and I wonder if I am the only sane person in the universe. (not here, elsewhere)

    Although, I liked the dresses too. Color me hypocritical.

    —-
    When Shakira sticks her ass out to shimmy, she is leaning forward, not tilting her pelvis. Still bad form for bellydance, but not damaging b/c she is not compressing her lower back.

    Anyone who wants to learn bellydance from internet video should go here:
    http://www.expertvillage.com/videos/belly-dancing-undulation.htm
    Sahira is a friend of mine, and she knows what she is doing.

  23. Frumious:

    When Shakira sticks her ass out to shimmy, she is leaning forward, not tilting her pelvis. Still bad form for bellydance, but not damaging b/c she is not compressing her lower back.

    I was actually talking about at the *very* end, the woman facing the wall, leaning on it, and doing what appears to be ginormous tilted hip circles. She’s leaning way forward, so her entire pelvic region is *certainly* tilting, a lot, and HARD, since the movement is, um, accented, as opposed to smooth/flowing through the whole circle. She seems to be really cranking into the upswing, and therefore into her lower back. Ow. Owowowow. ow. Ok, not *terribly* horrible if you are doing it for one performance. Really, really bad if you are looking at this video as any kind of a learning tool. 🙁

    The resolution is for shit, and I think they keep switching who is in front. 😛 I *think* it’s Beyonce doing that particular move, but I could be wrong. (Stupid, crappy, choppy editing!) The undulations up against the wall are pretty cool, actually, although I have a problem with the aesthetic of them appearing to slam their hips against the wall at the bottom. But that’s a personal, artistic problem. not a physiological one. 😉

    Didn’t get a chance to check out your friend’s site much, but am looking forward to it. I also teach, and new/different ways of breaking things down for the newbies are always appreciated. 🙂 Thanks for the link! And here’s my plug to support your local, live, in-the-flesh teachers. Video is a good tool, but having someone actually there who can correct you is way better!

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