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Notes From My Boner: Man Courageously Finds Wife Attractive

A photo of Robbie Tripp and his wife, Sarah, at the beach, with the text of his Instagram post to the right
And the award for Achievement in Finding One’s Own Wife Attractive goes to…

So this dude posted on Instagram with a photo of him and his wife at the beach and a lengthy note about his love for her “thick” thighs, ass, and waistline.

I know this guy has gotten a lot of positive attention and that a lot of women (his wife included, thank God) see it as the most romantic thing in the world. And if reading his post lifted you up on rainbows of body positivity and self-love, I sincerely couldn’t be happier for you. I’m not going to tell you what to find inspiring. You do you.

But a dude getting infinite back pats because he finds his own wife attractive?

I love this woman and her curvy body. As a teenager, I was often teased by my friends for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier, girls that the average (basic) bro might refer to as “chubby” or even “fat.” Then, as I became a man and started to educate myself on issues such as feminism and how the media marginalizes women by portraying a very narrow and very specific standard of beauty (thin, tall, lean) I realized how many men have bought into that lie. For me, there is nothing sexier than this woman right here: thick thighs, big booty, cute little side roll, etc. Her shape and size won’t be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it’s the one featured in my life and in my heart. There’s nothing sexier to me than a woman who is both curvy and confident; this gorgeous girl I married fills out every inch of her jeans and is still the most beautiful one in the room. Guys, rethink what society has told you that you should desire. A real woman is not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character. She’s real. She has beautiful stretch marks on her hips and cute little dimples on her booty. Girls, don’t ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated. There is a guy out there who is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are, someone who will love you like I love my Sarah.

The post is mostly about his love for big butts — he spends more time talking about himself, and how sexy he finds larger women, and what specific body parts he finds particularly sexy, than about his wife. When he was a teenager, the other guys teased him for liking “girls on the thicker side,” but then he discovered feminism, and now he’s open and proud about his love for “big boot[ies].” #enlightenment

His boner likes things that some other mens’ boners don’t like. … Congratulations, I guess?

There’s been discussion of this in the past here at Feministe, but the general opinion has been that yay, all women are objectified the same! isn’t the pinnacle of equality. Body positivity and body diversity are great. Being attracted to whomever you’re attracted to, for whatever reason you’re attracted to them, is great. Congratulating yourself for that attraction is weird.

(And do we seriously have to revisit all of the “real woman” bullshit? Porn stars and actresses are real women made of real human parts. Jesus, the idea is to not define women by the shape of their body.)

As much as this post is celebrated for being about how sexy his wife is, it’s really about how special he is for finding her sexy. It’s “I’m into women who are sexy like my wife,” as contrasted with the less-enlightened men who aren’t, and it’s a weird thing to seek affirmation for. I think it’s awesome for both of them that he’s married to a woman he finds sexy. I just don’t see myself handing out a medal for Extreme Bravery in Telling the World What Turns Him On.

Update: Also, they appear to be bigoted shits, so there’s also that:

2 thoughts on Notes From My Boner: Man Courageously Finds Wife Attractive

  1. Nailed it. Appropriating the language of Commodified Empowerfulness to paint himself a victim of ‘shaming,’ because what the fat acceptance movement really needs is an attention-seeking, self-styled “ally”-cum-boner to legitimize their existence and ensure that all women achieve peak objectification / fetishization. Men achieving liberation on the strength of a woman’s damaged ego or lack of self-respect, a reminder that you’re nobody (if you’re female) until somebody (male) lusts after you. It’s like an Onion parody of gaslighting come to life, with extra lashings of white ignorance.

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