Left, artist’s rendering of Mika Brzezinski with blood coming out of her face; right, artist’s rendering of Trump totally not watching “Morning Joe,” like, ew
[Content note: Ableist slurs]
Showing the classic Trump restraint that’s definitely not going to get the U.S. into, like, six wars at once someday, Donald Trump tweeted his little heart out Thursday morning in response to an episode of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” that he totally didn’t watch, for sure. (He only heard they were speaking badly about him. He doesn’t watch anymore. For real.) Taking a break from his usual, mature strategy of applying facts and reason to address issues head-on, he opted instead to attack the hosts in a manner befitting the office of the president. (You’ll be shocked to learn that he piled ableist slurs on top of his usual sexist, juvenile, and weirdly biological commentary.)
Of course, this isn’t the first time Trump has demonstrated a disturbing fixation on blood coming out of women’s… wherevers. Displeased with Megyn Kelly’s impudent insistence on asking him questions during the GOP debate, then-candidate Trump told CNN, “You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.” (Fun fact: Trump later tweeted that “wherever” referred to her nose, not any other part of her, because I guess maybe she had a nosebleed that night? A very subtle one that only Trump knew about? MYSTERY.) (Later, his campaign issued a statement claiming that he didn’t actually said “wherever” at all, even though he’d just repeated it on Twitter, like, ten seconds before, but whatever, nothing matters anymore, life is meaningless.)
At a press briefing later in the day Thursday, White House spokesperson Sarah Huckabee Sanders was trotted out as a human shield to deflect criticism about the sexist attack, because she’s a woman and the media attacks her all the time and she doesn’t go whining about it, so there.
I think that the president has been attacked mercilessly on personal accounts by members on that program. And I think he’s been very clear that when he gets attacked, he’s going to hit back. I think the American people elected somebody who’s tough, who’s smart, who’s a fighter. And that’s Donald Trump. And I don’t think that it’s a surprise to anybody that he fights fire with fire.
The things that this show has called him, and not just him but numerous members of his staff, including myself and many others, are very deeply personal. So to then turn and pretend like this approach is — I guess it’s kind of like we’re living in the Twilight Zone. They do this day after day after day, and then the president responds and defends himself and everybody is appalled and blown away.
… for all values of “defends himself” equal to WELL STUPIDHEAD MIKA GOT A FACELIFT AND SHE WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH ME AND I WAS LIKE NO, YOU’RE UGLY, STOP ASKING.
When asked if Trump’s tweets just might have been beneath the dignity of the office of president, Sanders replied, “Fuck that, we don’t do ‘dignity’ anymore.” NO, SHE DID NOT SAY THAT. She just said pretty much that.
Look, I think that he shows that every day in the decisions that he’s making, the focus and priorities that he’s laid out in his agenda, but he’s not going to sit back and be attacked by the liberal media, Hollywood elites, and when they hit him, he’s going to hit back.
Moment of Accidental Truth #1: It is definitely the case that Trump shows in every decision he makes and every policy he lays out that he consistently functions way beneath the dignity of the office.
Moment of Shameless, Bald-Faced Lying, like, do these people not realize that online video continues to be a thing?:
The president in no way, form, or fashion has ever promoted or encouraged violence. If anything, quite the contrary.
Except for all those times that he explicitly encouraged violence. Where people could hear it. And record it. Using cameras. And showing it to people online. Lots of people.
Look, the American people elected a fighter. They didn’t elect somebody to sit back and do nothing. They knew what they were getting when they voted for Donald Trump, and he won overwhelmingly.
Moment of Accidental Truth #2: The American people absolutely did know what they were getting in Donald Trump, which is why nearly three million more of them were, like, “NO WAY, DO NOT WANT.”
Sanders declined to directly answer a question about whether the president of the United States should be held to higher behavioral standards than a cable news host, or the unasked but looming question of what Trump’s obsession is with women bleeding, like seriously, that’s really creepy and disturbing.
In all seriousness, though, how in the holy hell is this a thing? Donald Trump sitting in the White House, tweeting all these tweets, saying these things, using this language, and the official response is, “Well, they started it” — an excuse that wouldn’t fly in kindergarten, but we’re supposed to buy that it’s acceptable for the president of the United States. Not just acceptable — desirable. Being reactionary, crass, and vindictive is something we should be actively seeking out in a president.
We’re not living in the Twilight Zone. The Twilight Zone had a plot. We’re living in some terrifying, twisted, unending episode of Jackass, just one horrible stunt after another, except it’s the entire country that’s getting kicked in the junk. At this point, I would love to be in The Twilight Zone. I would love to startle my younger self off a carousel while trapped in an isolation booth with my glasses broken, if Jackass: The President is the only alternative. There are only so many times a country can flip a golf cart at speed before we break something that doesn’t grow back. Other than our diplomatic ties, our global reputation, potentially the health and lives of millions of people, and my personal commitment to swear less online. That one is fucking gone.