If you live in the States and believe rape is a serious issue, you likely know April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, which has been around since the eighties – albeit ignored by most politicians, until filthy liberal Obama became the first president to treat rape as a serious issue. And whilst plenty of aspiring sociopaths think women deserve rape, the majority of civilised folks believe preventing rape is a good thing. But what happens when pro-rape trolls make the jump from spewing misogyny online, to harassing advocates and survivors at campus events?
Granted, most trolls lack the backbone to attack others without a cloak of anonymity to shield them from consequences. Yet more brazen trolls aren’t without precedent, like the ones who oppose Take Back the Night rallies with “you deserve rape” signs. One troll graced our recent campus tabling event, marching from table to table, claiming the event was a sexist attack on men, demanding to know why nobody would answer his questions about false rape accusations. (Most tablers thought they were being punk’d and shrugged him off, which didn’t help his attitude.)
Then he came to our table and, well, it didn’t end well for him. After a few minutes, his girlfriend (or whoever was standing with him) pulled him away from our table, before he could embarrass himself further.
For those who may find themselves in similar situations this month and need an entertaining survival guide – or who simply want an idea of how our conversation went – this post is for you. Just remember these responses hurt more when you deliver them with a smile!
Q: Why’re you spending my student fees on this event?
A: Welcome! Most people here think campus rape is bad, though not everyone agrees, since one frat was recently banned for allegedly heckling anti-rape events with dildos. If you’d like to join this frat, we have their contact info – but in the meantime, rape awareness is a cheap alternative to lawsuits from rape victims whose colleges violate their rights.
Q: What makes you think campus rape is a problem?
A: Aside from how 15 to 20 per cent of college women are sexually assaulted, and how this is corroborated by the U.S. Department of Justice, the Journal of American College Health, the Medical University of South Carolina and the CDC, we’re generally in favour of preventing things we know are harming our friends and classmates!
Q: What proof do you have those studies are legitimate?
A: Hey, last time we checked, the U.S. Justice Department is good enough at what it does that the FBI works for them. If you’re upset at how they study rape, we can give an address so you can address a letter of concern to them!
Q: And how do you know those rapes aren’t false accusations?
A: We’re confused – if someone rapes someone, how is that false? Regardless, considering the FBI reports over 90 per cent of rape cases are probable or true, we choose to focus our efforts on survivors who need help.
Q: So you don’t care about false rape accusations?
A: On the contrary, the most effective way to prevent such accusations is to prevent situations where rape occurs. That’s why we teach affirmative consent, to ensure men aren’t in danger of walking around and accidentally raping someone who didn’t say yes!
Q: And how would you know she said yes or not?
A: In a civilised society, most people ask for permission before sticking their body parts into another person. Most of us learn consent as children – do you feel consent is a challenge for you?
Q: So a girl can say she was raped if she had sex without saying yes?
A: Good luck with winning a rape case if you have no evidence of rape! That’s why so few men in jail for rape turn out to be falsely accused (unless they’re black), because getting a conviction without evidence sounds about as smart as your question.
Q: So you don’t care how false accusations affect men’s reputations?
A: Au contraire, we care about many things, from how 1 in 6 men are sexually assaulted before college, to how religious groups wish to ban rape victims from accessing birth control. Since rape victims tend to suffer most from rape, we focus on their needs – but since you care deeply about men and rape, perhaps you should table with us at our next event, talking to men about how to avoid accidentally raping?
Q: You didn’t bother answering…
A: I’m sorry, but not interrupting is another skill we assumed you’d learned as a child. Is your lack of basic skills why you’re fearful of being accused of rape someday?
Our chat with this bloke wasn’t nearly this linear – he kept trying to disrupt and derail the conversation, as trolls often try to do. But given how predictable rape apologists are, we were by default well-versed in whatever tired arguments he trotted out, so instead we gave entertaining answers to string him along. No, what shocked us more was that he tried at all – he took his trolling into the offline world, to an event where he should have known none of his arguments would strike anyone as terribly original.
Why, then, did he even bother? We’re not sure why, but we were entertained enough by his foolishness that it led in this post. Happy tabling!