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Your Weekly Lachenweinen: College student fights for men’s equality

Here’s something that should make you smile-cry of a Monday morning: Feminism has met its goals and achieved what it set out to do, and we’ve become equal both in education and in the job market. We’re on top, and that’s why men can slack off and make C’s. It’s time, says University of Nebraska senior Zach Nold, for men to jump up on that pedestal next to women as equals.

This is what they’re teaching in colleges, kids.

Feminism has met its goals and women are now equal with men as they should be. We are truly beginning to see feminism change our economy, college campuses and relationships. However, an overreaching has begun to happen through feminism whether or not they realize it.

Feminism has achieved what it was set out to do, and now that women are considered equal, ‘feminists’ want more. The movement is ruining modern relationships, and it’s bringing about the downfall of men. This can easily be seen by the numbers on a college campus and in the modern economy.

For the first time in 2010, women made up a majority of the workforce, and in 2011 women held 51.4 percent of all jobs in management or professional positions, while holding 46.6 percent of all jobs in the labor force. The argument that women simply can’t make it in today’s economy is a fallacy as the statistics show; it’s the women who are on top now and increasing their numbers as Fortune 500 CEOs in the past years.

College and relationships, however, have a greater impact on the immediate student body. According to Hanna Rosin and her article “The End of Men,” women earn 60 percent of all masters’ degrees, 42 percent of all MBAs and 60 percent of all bachelor’s degrees. Women have become equal in both the realms of education and economics, but feminists fail to acknowledge both of these statistics. So, they continue to push against the ‘evil man’ until they can push no further.

However, men also may not be adapting to an ever changing environment that we are now a part of. Markets that require typical male attributes were the greatest areas affected by the decrease of blue collar jobs during the rescission. This has hurt men and the male egos. Still guys, we need to adapt, pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and claim our place on the pedestal next to women as equals.

We can lay responsibility for this editorial at the feet of one person: the chair of the English department, because folks are about to let this kid graduate from college with an English degree.


54 thoughts on Your Weekly <em>Lachenweinen</em>: College student fights for men’s equality

  1. Markets that require typical male attributes were the greatest areas affected by the decrease of blue collar jobs during the rescission. This has hurt men and the male egos.

    tomek? Is that you?

  2. Markets that require typical male attributes were the greatest areas affected by the decrease of blue collar jobs during the rescission.

    Umm, I don’t think this means what he thinks it means?

    Oh, yes, here is the proper definition: Rescission, the abrogation of a contract, effective from its inception, thereby restoring the parties to the positions they would have occupied if no contract had ever been formed.

    This has hurt men and the male egos.

    Translation, but what about the poor menz, y’all???

    pull ourselves up by our bootstraps

    Pull up harder, those bootstraps don’t pull up on their own!

    and claim our place on the pedestal next to women as equals.

    As if we needed further proof that the author is an MRA type, he throws out repeatedly the women on a pedestal meme. Except now it’s new and improved, with a message of, hey ladies, scoot over and make some room for the menfolks now! Earth to Mr. Nold, we neither need nor want your stupid pedestal. How about you stop treating us like aliens from another planet and treat us like the intellectual and financial equal we actually are.

  3. However, an overreaching has begun to happen

    ….

    Damn uppity bitches wanting more than mere equality with men!!! How dare they over reach and try to obtain fully human status!!

    So, they continue to push against the ‘evil man’ until they can push no further.

    fuck you

    1. fuck you

      I concur with pheenobarbidoll’s sentiment! What an atrocious fantasy piece written by this ‘student’.

      It reminds me of a situation some years ago – the country in which I live discovered that boys were not performing as well in school anymore. The shift was attributed to the increased performance of girls. Boys were losing interest at school – why should they continue to achieve anything when girls are clearly capable. The situation was declared a National Emergency (TM) – any focus on encouraging girls was all but eliminated and there has been a noticeable backlash against it.

      I recall seeing a poster some time after that, some sort of awards thing for students who do well in different areas of academia. It was like looking at a competition poster from the past – the science, mathematics awards etc were for boys, with only a couple of token gesture awards for girls in random non-event type categories.

      For the first time in 2010, women made up a majority of the workforce, and in 2011 women held 51.4 percent of all jobs in management or professional positions, while holding 46.6 percent of all jobs in the labor force. The argument that women simply can’t make it in today’s economy is a fallacy as the statistics show; it’s the women who are on top now and increasing their numbers as Fortune 500 CEOs in the past years.

      This is rubbish! More women in the workforce doesn’t mean things are equal or that women have made it.

      Gosh. Deflated face.

      but feminists fail to acknowledge both of these statistics

      Whatever bro. Whatever.

      1. For the first time in 2010, women made up a majority of the workforce, and in 2011 women held 51.4 percent of all jobs in management or professional positions, while holding 46.6 percent of all jobs in the labor force.

        What’s particularly unpleasant about this Shiny an’ New “majority of the workforce” routine is that women have always worked. That the definition of work has deliberately excluded female labor (surprise!–the kind without wages or salaries) means that under-educated and overly-biased folk like Nold feel confident repeating such blatantly obvious lies and using them to buttress tired arguments about women’s abilities.

        1. It’s profoundly dishonest to pretend that because a minority of women from a tiny upper-class representing a small portion of the whole of human history didn’t “have to” to work (that is, no trade would welcome them and they weren’t allowed professional training), women have never built and repaired things, harvested food, cleaned house, midwived, invented shit, taught, toiled and all the rest of it. Sick of this erasure of real women in favor of easy stereotypes about spoiled bon-bon eaters (against whom I hold no grudge; bon-bons are nice).

  4. Women have pedestals? That would explain why legislators have filed 1,860 bills in the last couple years to strip women of their right to bodily autonomy — can’t let those uppity females out-rise men in schools and workplaces!

    1. “I laughed.”

      This non-English major’s summary of her feelings on that English major’s commentary.

  5. “women held 51.4 percent of all jobs in management or professional positions”

    Funny, that’s the exact same percent of women in the population.

    Is this person complaining that women have gotten their fair share of jobs?

    Also, I don’t really see how women earning 60% of all master’s degrees shows that women are in a place of power. All that tells me is that a lot of women have found that, if they want to be competitive, they need to get an advanced degree. If only 40% of master’s degree earners are men, does that maybe point out that men don’t need the extra education to be competitive? Or maybe it just means that men aren’t as ambitious? I sort of doubt it’s because men are being discriminated against when applying to graduate programs.

    1. It tells me that women tend to be represented predominantly in fields that require masters degrees for increases in their pay grade: teachers, social workers, nurses, etc.

  6. Just another articles that misunderstands goals of feminism entirely. What is it with men and missing details? Oh wait, I shan’t put myself on a pedestal. Nevermind.

  7. It only gets better. He also wrote an editorial against women wearing leggings on campus, because it’s distracting. It also contained this sentence “I can see every curve, from the slope of the calf muscle, to the rise in the hump that we like to call the lovely lady lump.” http://admin.collegepublisher.com/preview/mobile/2.3308/2.3912/1.2433629
    And he tweeted about all the “blacls” at the Super Bowl, who must’ve been given food stamps, or were possibility actors paid by Beyonce, in exchange for filling the seats. http://i.imgur.com/z1sZKvH.png

    1. Finally, for the lucky few who actually figured modesty out, you have earned yourself a golden star!

      A gold star, from this guy! For figuring modesty out! What bliss.

      1. @Kasabian. I apologize for misreading the last word of your comment. I don’t know if it is funnier my way, but my mistake itself made me laugh.

    2. Protip to male morons.

      I do not dress for your boner.

      I don’t give a shit about your boner.

      You don’t figure in my thinking about how I conduct my life.

      You wanna know something? All you random dudes who want to stare and judge and pronounce upon me and my actions may as well not exist. I don’t look at you. I don’t think about you outside this sort of site. You’re ghosts. There’s only one man whose opinion on my clothes and actions and body and life matter to me, and you. are. not. him. You are, frankly, not fit to tie his bootlaces.

      You’re not fit to tie mine, either.

    3. Why is he given a platform to write this crap? You can find plenty of assholes that would be more than willing to spew their personal opinion of what others should or should not wear, write racist columns, etc. Why does the paper print it?

      Zach, I’ll give you some advice (mostly because I feel bad you go to Nebraska).
      1. Human beings get to choose what they want to wear. This includes women.
      2. If you like what they are wearing by all means enjoy, privately. Perhaps even go talk to them.
      3. If you hate what they are wearing don’t look. Necks rotate for a reason. Use those vertebrae.
      4. If you think what they are wearing means they will cheat on you in some future fantasy relationship, see #3.

      The racism is way the fuck not cool – we desegregated campuses years ago – but I have no advice for you that can be printed here regarding that other than change yourself now before it is too late.

      It’s buzzkills like Zach that keep places like Nebraska out of the top twenty party school list.

  8. wth, University of Nebraska? Now, I’d imagine you’re a public university, and as such I feel a certain sympathy to your plight, but *pleasepleaseplease* put a little effort in. Maybe you can’t make him less horrible, and I guess it’s too hard to teach him how to think, but at the very least you can get him to use correct spelling and punctuation.

    1. Men have fallen behind by their own doing as well as overreaching feminism.

      Men have been very busy. They’ve been:
      1. falling behind by their own doing
      2. overreaching feminism.

      The fact of the matter is: the rules of survival have changed.

      The fact of the matter is, Zach Nold is graduating with a degree in English and somehow doesn’t know how to use English. Did this kid not write essays?

      1. I’m trying to figure out what

        Still guys

        are. At the moment, I’m picturing guys in a still-life painting who are in varying states of undress. 😀

    2. If they’re public, then the university should present this guy as Exhibit A next time their state legislature tries to reduce their funding. “Last time you cut our budgets, we had to increase our class sizes and cut back on tutoring, and students such as Zach Nold were able to make it to their senior year without mastering basic citizenship skills such as empathy, critical thinking, and using spell-check.”

  9. Ohohoh, from the other article:

    Ladies you’re being judged.

    Strangely enough, I did pick up on that all by myself.

    However, for the ladies whose strong point may not be their legs, please, don’t wear leggings

    Mr. Nold, your strong point is neither English nor writing it. Please desist.

    Zach Nold is a sophomore English and Teaching major

    English. And Teaching.

    1. It slays me how utterly inept his writing is. I’m tempted to take a red pen to the whole thing and do a proper SPAG check, but I’m afraid I might wind up stabbing my eyes out with it.

      1. However, an overreaching has begun to happen through feminism whether or not they realize it.

        I want this sentence to feature in PSAs about the passive tense.

        1. I think the wrongness of this sentence belongs in a category all their own. The unfairly maligned passive voice should not be forced to carry the burden of fault here. 🙂

      2. I think you should. I think everyone needs to print out the editorial, bleed all over it, and then mail it to the Daily Nebraskan with “NEEDS MORE WORK” written in red across the top.

        1. learn some fecking toxic attitudes

          Reading he’s a teaching major caused me to feel quite hopeless…

          oxygen thief

          🙂

    2. I don’t think I would have received an A for writing like that in high school, never mind the bass-ackwards argument. Zach should feel lucky he even has a shot at earning a degree with that kind of output, forget whining about how oppressed he is by eeeeeeevil feminists.

      Maybe he should take some of his own advice and improve himself instead of blaming his perceived misfortunes on straw feminists.

      1. Maybe he should take some of his own advice and improve himself instead of blaming his perceived misfortunes on straw feminists.

        Entitled man is entitled to blame others, heh

        Amazes me how there is never anything ‘wrong’ with these people/their thought’s/beliefs/attitudes. Must cling to delusion whole life!

    3. Honestly it’s better than the History major who could barely spell teaching English in a school I worked in simply because they wanted him to help out with the soccer team.

  10. I went to the University of NE… I swear there are plenty of awesome people who came from there! But I have always hated the student newspapers. It seemed like every week there was a new sexist (or other -ist) column, and I gave up on reading them for reasons so eloquently demonstrated by Mr. Nold.

    1. Oh come on, you can clearly see by the quotation marks that “evil man” is a word-for-word quote from Feminism Itself.

  11. I kept scanning this over and over again, hoping it was from the Onion or some other satirical publication.

    One can only hope that “overreaching feminism” will prevent him from eventually becoming an English teacher.

  12. Just don’t read the comments at the link. Dudes there are very invested in their privilege and are not able to see through it at all. Douche-baggery abounds.

  13. the head of a giraffe against a bright blue sky: its mouth is pursed sidewaysHs nglsh s bd.
    Bt nn f y (jst n xcptn) tckld hs ds. Y jst ttckd hs grmmr. Vry mtr.
    Mst wmn hv t bttr n LL spct f thy lf thn mst mn(nt h Wstrn Wrld).
    Wnt t d smthng fr “wmn-knd”. G t frc nd stp wmn gntl mtltn.
    Fr tht mttr stp BBY gntl mtltn n TH .S. Crcmcsn.

    1. Some ideas are presented so poorly that they are beneath serious rebuttal. I can see, though, how you would be sympathetic to Nold’s predicament, as your style of argumentation bears striking similarity. To wit…

      Most women have it better in ALL aspect of they life than most men(int he Western World).

      You provide no support for this statement whatsoever. Which aspects of life, specifically? What data supports this assertion? Until you give your arguments some backbone, we can dismiss them as readily and effortlessly as you produce them.

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