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That’s Just Great

Lauren

Wonderful. Just great.

I agree to watching six children this afternoon — ages 13, 12, 11, 10, 5, and 9 months — and I don’t even get the option of screaming at them to get outside already, and shut that door! You lettin’ the flies in! You raised in a barn?!

I may actually have to entertain six kids all by my lonesome?

Someone bring mama some aspirin and tea. She’s having a spell.

UPDATE: I would just like to say that, other than the sweetest baby in the world, I am tired of watching other people’s children. Nannies, my hat off to you.

15 thoughts on That’s Just Great

  1. My Mom once asked me if I had been born in a barn. I said, “Yes, and everytime I see a horse’s ass I get home sick.”

    She beat the hell out of me.

  2. what kinda crazyass midwest weather predictor is that?

    tons of rain? tons?!

    why don’t they just say “buttload” like everyone else?

  5. I’ll swap weather with you. Today’s forcast is 98° with no rain in sight.

    Fuck Texas weather.

  6. Could you send some of that a wee bit north? I hate watering the lawn and my tomatoes are dying for real rain and not the city water I keep feeding them.

    But I’m pretty sure that watching 6 kids by yourself takes place in one of the layers of Hell.

  7. Good luck! Rent lots of movies, bring out the coloring books (crayons are hyponitic to children of all ages), and don’t forget your cattle prod.

    Oh, and if it makes you feel any better, the guy on the telly said that it’s 100 degrees here in Central Georgia.

  8. All I have to say is that I hope Pablo and Doug survive a day with 6 kids stuck indoors and probably looking for something (or someone) to play with.

    Hey- I know this is a late suggestion, but my moms used to trick us by making us kneel on our knees, with our arms straight up in the air, and our backs straight. She told us that whoever could kneel in silence the longest was the winner. She never actually gave the winner a damm thing mind you, but we were competitive enough that we went along with it.

    Eventually we wised up, but then she made us do it as a punishment. Yeah, my moms was kinda evil….

  9. Tons? Hell, the low corner of my backyard finally dried out for more than a week. I had a perpetual swamp back there for at least two years; I halfway expected it to be declared a nontidal wetland. Anyone wanna swap for 99F with a dewpoint around 80F?

  10. I would just like to say that, other than the sweetest baby in the world, I am tired of watching other people’s children.

    What?
    You actually said that on your blog?
    You’re fired, Lauren.

    [SFX: phone pad dialing ten digit number]

    Hello? Can I speak to the style editor?

  14. Watching that many kids must have been difficult. I have enough with my two nephews. But, although I hate barney, it does get them quite.

  15. i have 5 stepchildren plus one of my own (and he’s got more energy than the other 5 combined) between the ages of 6 and 13. Five of the six are boys, but my stepdaughter gives me more trouble than any of the boys.

    What I’m trying to say is, I feel your pain. Every weekend.

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