In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Your wedding is the most special, important, valuable day of your entire existence, but you are a crazy bitch if you plan it too much.

That’s basically my summary of this New York Times article, which covers a small number of women who planned their weddings (or are still planning their weddings) before they even had a boyfriend. And yes, I actually agree that spending large chunks of your free time planning your own wedding when you aren’t actually engaged to be married is… a tad bizarre, and kind of sad. There are so many other things you could be doing with your spare time! And while I think many of us have had the experience of seeing a pretty dress or a nice piece of jewelry online and going, “Oh I like that” and maybe even posting it on Pinterest (hell, even I pinned a wedding dress one time), it’s a whole other level to plan out a venue, monogrammed cocktail napkins and what you’re serving for dinner before you’ve even met the person who you’re planning to wed:

What would King learn from us?

An elementary school teacher told a story to me once. I was still struggling to learn English, so over the course of the year I asked her often to retell the story.

Years ago in Alabama, the wife of a young preacher received a delivery of red carnations from her husband. They were beautiful, but as she touched them, she noticed they were artificial. When her husband came home, she asked about the flowers. He said, “I wanted to give you something that you could always keep.”

Holiday Redux

Christmas, for those of us who celebrate it, is over, along with many of the other December holidays. New Years is yet to come. How were your festivities? Mine involved an iPad from Santa, so that was fun, and lots of wine. And I just started watching Homeland (not even through Season One, so NO SPOILERS in the comments please!). What did you all get up to?

A bit of holiday advice

This list is (mostly) for folks who celebrate the upcoming holidays, and are fortunate enough to have people and resources to celebrate with; if you don’t fit that group, skip to the bottom. If you do fit, then even if your family are your favorite people and you look forward all year to the holidays, you still may find useful hints here.

Bid for Good

WAM, an organization very near and dear to my heart, is auctioning off some awesome items and services just in time for the holidays. Feministe friend Captain Awkward will give you advice! Ann Friedman will tell your story in GIFs! Baratunde Thurston will bring you as his date to Whiskey Friday! Rebecca Traister will edit your manuscript! An autographed Tegan and Sara vinyl pack! Dinner with Jessica Valenti! A strategy session with Sandra Fluke! Tickets to the Colbert Report, Wanda Sykes and more! SO MANY THINGS. GO BID NOW.